HI. MY NAME IS JAN AND.....

I'm standing at a podium in the middle of a small room and I introduce myself,

"Hi. My name is Jan and I suffer from IBS."

Did I expect a response?

From an empty room?

IBS is Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

It's not something one talks about let alone announce from a podium.

The choir loft?

In the line at the grocery store?

From the rooftops?

Over the P.A. system at Wal-Mart 

at the risk of  joining the photos of Wal-Mart shoppers?

IBS. A curse.

If you have a flare-up (flare)

you are chained to your bathroom.

If a flare comes at the wrong time 

you could miss your child's wedding,

your mom's memorial service,

your child's graduation from college,

the grand opening of a Dollar Store.

I had my first flare about five years ago.

That's a totally unacceptable experience when you're not at home.

My doctor put me on a hefty dose of a steroids

to get my flare under control.

.......And he kept me on it for.........five..........years,

assuring me that it was often done that way....long term.

He's a doctor, I believed him.

Slowly the skin on my arms became very thin

and they were easily bruised - blood bruises

like the elderly get on their arms.

It continued to get worse.

Oh, I called the doctor's office several times over those

five years and was reassured each time that

I hadn't been on the steroids too long.

It finally came to the point that I talked to my GP, whom

I trust implicitly, about three months ago.

She had me change doctors.

My new lower GI doctor is wonderful.

He weaned me off of the steroids in three days.

My arms started clearing up and 

the skin on my arms toughened up.

Yea!

At this point you're no doubt wondering why 

in the world am I telling you all of this.

Slow day.

Seriously, there is such an important reason.

It seems that the steroids built up in my body and started

affecting my behavior.

I wasn't aware of it.

Obviously, it got worse as time went on.

.....I have found out that the last year, okay,

probably two, have not been my years to shine.

I owe you an apology if I have ever acted whacked

or talked to you with an unacceptable attitude.

Hey, it could be any of many behaviors - 

I don't remember them.

I think my lack of memory has been my saving grace

in some ways.

It certainly hasn't been in a couple of instances.

May I suggest to those of you that feel you need

to bring to the attention of someone

you love, their behavior or your thoughts

of their mental stability, to do it in a 

loving way so as not to 
make them feel you are on the attack.

Be Jesus when you talk to them.

Be gentle, careful with your words

and most of all, talk to them with the love

you feel for them in your heart.
And, don't wait. Please, don't wait if
you love them. That is only harmful.

What happened to me twice before I even

knew there was a problem was not handled in that way.

Both situations destroyed me.

One friendship ruined,

the other wobbly, to say the least, for 

many months now.

I found out specifics of my behavior 

over the last year or two

from my sister, Joan, in a loving and positive

way last week in Florida.

She was kind and, though made me cry

from extreme embarrassment when

she gave me examples of my behavior,

talked to me like only my sister could.

Lovingly.

She started by telling me that she was

so happy that I was back to my "self".

I thought she was talking about my

arms so showed them off. 

But, no, she was telling me that she was

so glad that I was back to her "Jan".

I was honestly confused.

She explained that for the longest time

I hadn't been "me".

She even gave me examples that made

me want to crawl under the truck

(we were in my brother's pick-up).

Verbal attacks based on nothing, mood swings,

becoming a hermit, unquestionably whacked.

I did ask her why she waited so long to 

bring all of this up and she just didn't know......

I was so embarrassed.

I was mostly concerned that my boys

had been thinking that their mom was crazy.

No one else mattered as much.

No one.

When I talked to my eldest, he said that,

no, I had been fine for the last two years.

I had been so physically challenged.......

that's where I stopped him and steered him back

to my concerns.

That sweet boy forgave me for "nothing".

I shared and apologized to my daughter-in-law, too.

The steroids explained so much about

 the start of our relationship.

So glad to have an answer and her forgiveness.

(two down, two to go)

Even the Tank noticed my new behavior

without me having said anything.

The steroids took about six weeks to

work their way out of my body and

allow me to become myself again - to a point.

And, I feel the difference.

I'm full of the joy, the positive thoughts,

the anxiousness to "do",

and I'm happy. So joyful and happy.

I don't long to be the hermit I have become 

(let's take that one slowly - I don't do drama).

I'm me again.

I had seriously forgotten what it felt like

though I didn't realize that.

Confusing?? That's the real me, too.
However, I realize that it takes months for them
to completely work their way out of my system, 
but have been assured that any future "experiences"
will not be as horrid as the ones I've been
told about.

Again, if I have ever done anything odd or whacked

to you, please accept my apology.

This is the most effective way to get

"the word out".

If you feel the want/need to pass this

on to someone(s), please do.

I seek forgiveness.

P.S. Any comments? All and any are welcome. Anyone think this post could be any longer??

MY FAVORITE PLACE TO GO TO RECHARGE

Where do you go when you need to recharge your batteries?

There are many answers to that question; even for me.

Bed to sleep (you'd really understand that if you have fibro'), my studio, stick my nose in a Somerset Studio zine, blog surf, read the Bible or something inspirational, just to name a few that I'm sure are coming to your mind as you read this.

But, there's one place that I go every week that I'm in town and/or able, that's my favorite and most effective place for me to recharge and that's church.

And, before I get into that I'm going to give you a little tidbit of information that I didn't know until a few years ago. I don't remember who told me, maybe it was Jack Rothenflue, my old pastor. Well, HE'S not old, well, he is kinda old because he's older than me, but what I meant was that he was my "past" pastor. (That was for just in case he read this. Yikes.)

Anyhow, I just hung up from calling my current (and, actually "young") pastor (we'll talk more about him in a minute) to ask him where in the Bible it says what I'm about to tell you.

His response, which made me laugh out loud, was that he really couldn't look that up while he was driving. You see, I didn't know he was in his car. That made me laugh.

Okay, I'm giving you too much information *so me* - getting back on track, there is scripture in a couple of places in the Bible (and, please, it's not important that y'all email me with the scriptures. Send those emails to Oprah. Oh, my, there's a blog post for ya.)

that infer that when we go to church on Sunday morning *for me*, it's not to fill us up, it's not to refresh us, it's to WORSHIP THE LORD. Put aside your concerns, your troubles for an hour and simply focus on worshiping our Lord. It's what He wants us to do.

When I heard that I had to think about it for a bit. I went to church to worship, yes, but I also went to fill my tank for the week. Now what was I going to do??

Silly me, I was going to do the exact same thing I had been doing. . .praising God for all He does for me, for all my blessings, for all of my challenges that make me stronger, for my ability to minister to others that are hurting, to worship Him for His mighty-ness, for His Holiness. And, I found that even though I had changed my perspective of Sunday mornings, my tank was still filled for the week. In fact, it was topped off. WHOOP!!

Pastor Jay being a regular person, ordering lunch. We posed this picture because I told him at lunch that the picture I took of him praying over communion wasn't his best. LOL

Gosh, what a segue into talking about my pastor.............talking about gas and now talking about Jay. (yes, I'm smiling)

I have a wonderful pastor in Jay Dozier. A huge part of what makes him so wonderful is that his wife, Amy, is a friend of mine and his three children are my heart. Jay is also a very close friend. . .you know, the type that if he/they moved away we would still have a relationship. That's the ruler I use when I think about how good a friend someone is...just another one of my tidbits:)

Jay is a great pastor because He allows God to use him as a vessel. He's also a great pastor because he sincerely cares about the congregation. He is strong in the Bible, follows the scriptures in his sermons, his decisions and his advice. Makes mistakes (he is human, remember) and acknowledges when he does and fixes what needs fixin'.

AND, he prays........A LOT........totally cool.

The photos in this post aren't the best, but they give you an idea of my church. And remember that post I wrote entitled I CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE on February 11th? So many, if not all, of the ideas I talked about in that post fit in church so well. Go back and skim it and you'll see what I mean!

Oh, and there's something else I just want to tell you about my church because I think it's so wonderful. . . . .we honestly don't care what battles you're fighting - you are more than welcome in our family and we will help you fight those battles. We don't care how you dress, we don't care about your past.

We care only that you love the Lord, Jesus Christ, and that you believe that He is the Son of God and died on the cross for your sins.

Period.

xoxo,

.....Jan

I CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE

"I can make a difference...I can make a change"....it's nothing new. I've had that thought on my mind for months (and months) and I try to do just that every day.
I was thinking about how I try to make a difference in at least one person's life every day and thought that it was worth sharing with y'all because if I can make a difference then,
"YOU can make a difference.....YOU can make a change" and that equals,
"WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE.....WE CAN MAKE A CHANGE".

SHAUNA AND LISA GIVIN' A HUG

This thought of making a deliberate effort to make a change in at least one person's life every single day came from brainstorming with my dear friend and pastor, Jay, one day at lunch. The idea was originally the brain child of one of our Sunday School classes and the list that we came up with was to be one used while AT church.

But, in thinking about it I decided that there was every reason for me to use this list in my every day life.
Wanna hear some ideas how you can change someone's life?
It's really simple!
It just takes a concious effort on your part to remember to it every day.
Now, that's really hard for old people like me - the remembering part - that's why I put God into every part of my day and ask Him to remind me.

ME....CONFESSING.....

And, while I'm confessing...I also ask Him to put His hand over my mouth and His arm around my shoulders.
Sometimes I move too fast and His just misses my mouth and I say something that is hurtful (I'm always teasing when this happens, but like my mother is so fond of reminding me, "some people don't know when you're teasing..." Oh, yeah. Thanks, mom.) So, even when I'm trying to be a blessing every day I, too, make mistakes and that really hurts my heart - it bleeds when I find out I've hurt someone's feelings because my goal in life is to simply be "the Jesus people see" (Jesus when he's teasing, usually).
And we all have "issues" from our upbringing that makes it hard to do some things.
The behavior we possess that is a direct result of how we were treated as a youngster is hard, very hard, to change, even with therapy (I'm here to tell ya), but, if we keep our eyes on God and ask Him to help us, miracles can happen.
I'm a miracle *but that's another post*.
So, if you find that you're having problems making a difference by implementing these ideas I'm going to share with you, just keep it slow....slow and steady.....and make yourself step outside of the box. You will be the one who is blessed!

SINCERE COMPLIMENT

Which is exactly what I did when I was visiting with the two nurses that were taking care of my mom after her fall (and before her brain surgery because of that fall). I was so thankful for the loving care they gave to my mother that I couldn't compliment and thank them enough.

But, you know what?

I even try to find a reason to give a sincere compliment to the checker at Wal-Mart who is a wee bit surly.

Okay, she's a lot surly.

It goes along with my daily mantra which is, "Always be kinder than necessary because everyone is fighting some kind of battle."

I make myself realize that "she" may be frantic about how she's going to pay the rent or her husband mistreats her or she has a teenager.

     MAKING SOMEONE *MY NIECE* SMILE

A lot of these pictures that I am using to depict certain attributes of Making a Difference are of my family, not random shots at Wal-Mart or the park, etc. Just bare with me - if I waited until I got all random shots this post would never come to fruition.

It's so easy to make someone smile.

Smile at them while making eye contact.

That is one of the most basic of human instincts - to smile back at someone that smiles at you. So, try it. Just make eye contact and smile. Maybe even throw in a, "Good morning!" or, "Hi!" or, "Howdy!" if you live in Texas:)

                     GREETING

We all  have our own special personalities.

I certainly have mine and on most days you don't see Psycho Jan, you see She's Funny Jan.

And that is often my way of greeting someone, in a teasing way, even if I don't know them. (That can bite you in the butt)

At a recent estate sale I was standing next to a girl, okay a woman obviously younger than me, and she had her treasures piled up on the counter and I was leaning over checkin' out just what she had found. I wasn't going to snatch anything.....she turns to me and I say somethin' like, "I'm just lookin'!!" and she has some like and kind retort and guess what...we are now friends. We have emailed each other several times and tomorrow mom and I are meeting up with her (Anne) at an estate sale down the highway.

See?? Just open your mouth and greet someone and who knows what will happen! You might make a connection with someone (and it won't be until later that you'll realize that God orchestrated the whole thing and you'll laugh out loud when it dawns on you!)

But, even if you spend the day greeting people and that's all it is, remember that you might be the only person that speaks *kindly* to "that" person.

LAUGHTER

One of the things that I firmly believe in is that a day without laughter is a wasted day.

And my boys know that...............you're looking at one of the many pictures I had to take Christmas '08 to get a decent picture of the three of them for family and friends. Every time I went to take the picture one of them would do something that would crack them up and lay me on the ground because I would be laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.

I think it's a definate gift from God, the ability to make others laugh.

And I think it's one of the healthiest things you can do for your body.....LAUGH.

If you don't think you have anything in your life to laugh about then watch a funny movie; there are a lot out there! Read the comics in the paper or better yet, read up on Obama's health plan - it's laughable. (Oh, hush, I'm just kidding.)

TOUCHING ANOTHER

Think about it. Do you realize that there are people that go through an entire day with no physical human contact? No touch from another person?

A hand on someone's shoulder, a hug, a handshake, a rub on the upper arm?

The elderly make up a huge part of the population that go through an entire day (week, month) with no one touching them.

And children and all of the rest of us - we all need, we all hunger for GOOD touches.

GOOD touching and you could be the person to change someone's day (week, month).

    SINGING SO GOD CAN HEAR YOU

Oh, I hear ya, you can't sing.

You know what? God doesn't hear your voice when you're singing to Him, He hears your heart. And I understand that if you're sitting in the back of the sanctuary or worship hall or around the campfire away from others, that you might be self concious if you don't think you can sing; and when you try to utter those first words all you can hear is your voice *shocking*, it's because you're not sitting with the "family". Move up and squeeze in, then you can just blend your voice with the others all around you and you can forget that you're supposed to be self concious *Satan* and sing your HEART out to God.

End of sermon. Point made.

That's it, my list of Joy Points, though there could be many more.

If you can think of something that is noteworthy, please tell us about it in your comment.

And I hope that this post has been taken in the spirit I intend it to be taken - with sincerity and my love for people.

And included in those "people" are you, my precious readers!

xoxo,

. . .jan