A REALLY HOT GUY, GUNS AND TOILET PAPER

When you have

a really hot guy, guns and toilet paper

you have a really fun wedding shower!

Hostess, Hannah Jones Brown, and

her mom, Annette Jones, gifted

Brat this amazing *grace* cross.

During all of the fun, I forgot to take

a photo of the gorgeous table

that Hannah and Annette laid out.

The red velvet cake was the

crowning glory!

"Did I forget to mention that you would be
the only guy here today, Blake??"
(That's so unlike me)

...This is Blake, my son, and
Brat's best friend, so it only made sense
for him to come.
And, I knew the ladies (and young ladies)
would enjoy having him there.

He really likes my best friend, Annette.

In fact, I think this might be his new fb profile pic.

Phyllis Fischer, Betty Harris and Kim Bolin
all delighted us with their presence
and delighted Brat with their presents.
(Oh, hush)

Jeanette Ricks and Rudy Shepherd...

I can only assume that Taylor has

walked into the room.

Yep! I was right!
Here's Brat's sister, Taylor, with her
most precious little boy, Skilyr.

"Blake. Stop.

I KNOW I told you there would

be toilet paper involved."

Groups of 3 with one of the group

being the BRIDE.

In this group, that'd be Blake.

(...the reason I wanted him to come...)

The wedding dress is made of,

you guessed it, *shhhhh* toilet paper.

Does anyone else think he's enjoying this just

a little bit too much?? Bwahahahaha!

(He was such a good sport!)

The stand out part of Amanda's

wedding gown was the sleeves.

Gorgeous.

However, I did hear some whispers

about a mummy. Just sayin'.

Some women were just born to be a bride.

Ginger's gown had a heavenly look.

So much so, that she reminded us of Mary.

You know, Jesus' Mary.

Remember, his mom??

Stay with me here.

Every bride needs bridesmaids!
And, Ginger's bridesmaids are
stinkin' beautiful!!

A sneak peek for all of my blog readers

of Brat's wedding dress.

Okay, not the real dress,

but it is the back up dress in case

something happens.

Good thinkin', huh.

Brittany is trying to look like one of those
professional models in the bridal zines.
You know, when they push their
shoulders forward? It's not a good look
on anyone.
I'll talk to her.

I'm as proud as a mom to tell you that

Abe, age 5, and my model,

came in as runner up.

His mom was my co-designer

and responsible for the shoes.

I'm thinkin' it was either the shoes

or the eyebrows (look closely)

that pushed him over the top.

Good lookin' bride, Abe!!

I think another element of Abe's bridal attire
that pushed him up to 2nd place was
his floor length veil.
(That was my idea. Is that bragging?)

I know you've been waiting for this moment
and may have even scrolled forward,
to see the Bride of the Shower.
Taylor Stone won the title.
She's a vision, isn't she?

I would be remiss if I didn't introduce you

to Taylor's designer, Elyce.

Where would a bride be without her designer??

I'm sure it's the camera man's fault
and Brittany isn't really sneaking in a nap.

Dig deeper!! There has to be wine in here!

No wine, but some fabulous placemats!

A darling Lucille Johnson creation,

an apron perfect for backyard bar-b-ques.

 The picture tells the story.

I'm a firm believer that the best gifts come
in the smallest packages.
That would be because this smallest of gifts
is from mwah.

Oh, real nice.

Brat couldn't read my handwriting

so Hannah had to help her.

It was offensive in so many ways.

(I'm kidding, ya'll:)

Abe kept telling me that THEY brought the BEST GIFT.
I think Brittany would agree!

And, to end the party,

some of the little faces that were there!

(There's a couple of big faces, too:)

And, last but not least..........I promised you some guns!!

The shower was a scream

with really good sports,

fun people,

cute kids,

great cake,

fabulous presents,

high fashion,

a really hot guy,

guns

and toilet paper!!

Thanks, y'all, for taking the time

to read my blog.

PLEASE leave a comment at the

bottom of the blog so I can get

an idea of how many are reading -

a lot of you send me emails or

comment on facebook, and that's

great! I'd just like an idea of

how many people I'm reaching.

I love you!! 

              Jan                         

also made of toilet paper



                                                                          

SOMEONE GET THIS WOMAN A COMPASS!!

This is day two on my drive back home from Michigan.
I'm not ready to post about the trip yet, but I do have a funny story to tell and it's too long for Facebook, so y'all win:)

The day started out nicely - I grabbed my double espresso from the gas station while I filled the car, turned on my phone's GPS and headed out of town.
I had stayed in Hopkinsville, Tennessee, last night, and as I started out of town I was a little curious as to the route I was being sent on by Jana, my current GPS "girl".

You see, since my GPS voice is a woman's, I named my GPS after a woman in my family.....Oh, Jana isn't the first.....she's the third.
The first was Carly (after my niece) but it seems that "Carly" had a drinking problem and was continuously showing up to work drunk and unable to give me the correct directions.
So, as hard as it was, I fired her behind (felt kinda good). 
I hired "Mother" (after my mom) next and was to be disappointed yet again.
Seems she has a problem with the bubbly and I couldn't count on her either.

The hardest part was that in my new "safe" Tonka (Tonka yellow Nissan) I don't have a stinkin' compass. So, even if my GPS shows up to work sober, I STILL don't have my compass.
Would someone PLEASE buy me a compass for my new "safe" car??

.....Back to task - my newest GPS girl is Jana (after my DIL). She's been doing quite a good job and I've been very pleased. I really thought I had found a young adult with the sense of responsibility needed to be an effective GPS girl.
Well, it seems she has simply been able to hide a serious drug problem.....until today.
It took me TWO HOURS......................TWO. HOURS. .......................to get out of the Hopkinsville wilderness this morning.
Oh, I fired her before the first hour was over, I was so disappointed.
So, there I was with no GPS girl and no compass.
Are you seein' my problem??

I finally made my way out of the maze and headed south.
I'll continue the trip without a GPS girl as I mull over whom to hire next - I'm definitely going outside of the family.
The compass?? Well, seems I always think of one when I NEED one and that's in the middle of no where, so someone is going to have to buy this woman a compass!

The day picked up this afternoon when my little girl, Skyler, called to give me an update on her dog, Sooner.
Sooner had a 104 degree temperature and wouldn't walk on one of her legs yesterday so they (she and her husband, Brian) took her to the emergency clinic last night and got antibiotics and some pills or something for her.
Today Sooner is doing better.

Skyler said that when she came home at lunch that Sooner was standing up in her CRATE and barked a couple of times.
I said, "She's still in a crate??"

Skyler knows how I feel about crate training dogs - it's not my favorite thing (anyone that strongly disagrees with my stand should send all letters, emails and comments to Oprah).
I understand that sometimes it's necessary and Skyler and I tease back and forth about it.

Skyler said, "She's comfortable in the crate. She came to us crate trained and it keeps her out of trouble. She's got lots of room."

I said, "If you had a bird would you keep it in a cage??"

*L-O-O-O-O-O-O-NG MOMENT OF SILENCE*
..............and then we both bust out laughin'.

It was sooooo funny!
I don't know if you had to be there - you might think so if you have never heard me talk, but if you have then you can hear me sayin' all of that and maybe it would be funnier.
Oh, alright, I THINK it might be funnier to you because I thought it was cuh-razy funny when it happened.

So, that was my day.
That a glass of complimentary wine at the hotel when I got here.

Love you more!
   Jan

PAPER COWGIRL IS BACK FOR YEAR THREE!!

I am very excited to tell you that the third annual Paper Cowgirl Art Retreat is being held June 24th - 26th, in Waxahachie, Texas, which is off I-35 south of Dallas.
And it's not called the Best Little Art Retreat In Texas for nothing!

It is an amazing weekend with the choice of different classes using different mediums, wonderful teachers and the best Texas (and a few other states will be represented - word has spread!!) artists/women/old friends/new friends that you would ever want to associate yourself.

Dale of Sea Dream Studio will be returning

as a teacher simply so she can strike her diva pose.

The above photo is a picture of the "Crown" swap at the 2009 P.C. Retreat

(Any one of those crowns would make Marie Antoinette beg)

Art + Laughter = peeing your pants Texas fun!! (Photo 2009 Retreat)

Most of you will remember my dear, sweet friend, Tina Wright, a woman loved by many, that passed this last January after a valiant battle with cancer. She was the co-founder of the Paper Cowgirl Retreat and she, along with Cindy Mayfield, co-founder, worked their bums off to make the retreats the best they could be. This year, after much prayer and thought, Cindy decided that Tina would want the retreat to continue on, so she *along with some little elves* have been working very hard for months! And the retreat just keeps getting better!

Sweet, wonderful Tina - she'll be there this summer, don't you doubt it.

If you're looking for a Texas retreat to attend, with very reasonable class costs, give-aways, fabulous swaps, wonderful sponsors (WHERE WOMEN CREATE and T.J. DESIGNS are two that I know of:), amazing food, shopping at antique/junk stores, the BEST scrapbook store I've ever been to, vendor's night *if you can't attend the retreat you are more than welcome to come to Vendor's Night*, and the most amazing women to spend a weekend with, then go to the P.C. blog and check it out!!

Vendor's Night - This is Texas, don't steal or we're gunna hafta shoot ya. Bring $$$

And, you can ask me any questions if you want. If I don't  have the answer I'll find it for you or direct you to the place your question can be answered.
I promise that if you come you will be blessed.

A girl geriatric attendee. We do not discriminate; we are Texans.

Oh! Oh! One more thing.
Geez, this is such an important part of the retreat, I can't believe I almost left it out! Whew *wiping my brow*.
One of the highlights of the weekend is when we have shots. You know, like at a bar? (I keep tellin' ya, this is Texas) Only ours are even better...................we have Frosting Shots! (haha - fooled ya) Homemade Frosting. Oh, man, I have to be rolled to my room every year!


On another note.....
Readers, y'all have been an amazing blessing to me these last l-o-o-o-ng weeks and I want to sincerely thank you. I'm working my way through all of the comments left on my last post and I will get to you eventually because I want to thank each of you individually for your support and kind words. I am so blessed.....

y'all are a blessing to me,
Jan

MY SISTER, THE DORK

Hasn't it been fun, using different colored fonts for my posts? I'm loving this white background!

Okay, on to the subject at hand...a little behind in getting this posted, but it's so important that you know the REAL Joan that I'm posting late.

My sister, Joan.

Wow. An amazing cook.

We have so much fun when we're together!

We go junking, she cooks while I work in my studio, we ride the back roads with our cameras looking for those perfect pictures.

She's not only a LD teacher of 25+ years, but she's also a professional photographer.Soon hoping to be as good as me. heeheehee

She is all of these amazing things and we are very close...

Then she pulls stuff like this and I can only say..."YOU ARE SUCH A DORK!!!"

We took a road trip to east Texas in June while she was down here visiting - we were just looking for great junk shops, boutiques, photo-ops, just whatever. We planned on spending the night so we were in no hurry. It was just a laid back trip in my convertible *with the top down* and Joan at the wheel because **long story**.

Here I am showing you the chapstick in question.
The innocent, wee bitty tube of relief that became the tool that Joan abused even while driving a car...

We're flying along at a speed that could have killed me if Joan wasn't giving the road, the traffic, unseen traps, her full attention...
With the top down, I applied some, admittedly soft from the heat, chapstick and asked Joan if she wanted some.

She did, so I passed it to her without looking at her - I'm busy watching the road...

Finally, she passes it back to me.
I look down to put the cap back on and it looked like someone had chewed on the chapstick!!!

While looking down at the mess I asked her,

"WHAT DID YOU DO, CHEW ON IT???"...

I look over at her and there she is just waiting for me to look...
The chapstick was so soft that when she went to spread it on her lips, it came off in a clump.

Only Joan, okay, maybe me too, would sit there for what had to seem like forever, holding the wad on her lip, just waiting for me to look over at her!

I could not breathe...I was laughing so hard.

What a hoot!

The way it all played out was just perfect...what a dork!

But, oh, it gets worse...

Of course, I have to take the wad and dispose of it because the trash sack is on my side, but after it's on my finger I make the hard decision that that wet, slimy piece of chapstick is NOT going in my really cute trash sack.

So, I flick it out my side of the car and put my right arm back up on the door to get some more sun *remember the top is down*.

A couple of minutes later I look down and see this!!!........

THE CHAPSTICK THAT I HAD FLICKED OUT OF MY SIDE OF THE CAR
IS ON MY ARM!!

"JO-O-O-O-O-O-O-AN!!!!!"

My sister....BFF, amazing cook, professional photographer, teacher of young minds (that has become a scary thought, hasn't it?). . .DORK.

The End.

I want to thank all of my amazing readers for sticking around to meet my sister, Joan. She really is the best, but, I had to share one of the many dorky experiences we have when we're together! PIMP!!

XOXO, Jan

WANNA KNOW WHAT KEEPS ME YOUNG?

Ahhhh! It's a purple day! I wonder if this color will show up well on my, oh, so beautiful pale pink background? M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m, don't you just love pale pink???

Wanna know what keeps me young besides my convertible?
I wonder how many of you guessed that in your head when you read the title to this post?
My convertible, that is.
I love my convertible, my little red convertible that will literally be the death of me if I get hit in a not so bad way because it IS a convertible.
Still love it.
Still makes me feel young.

But, it's not the only thing, it's not even the most important thing, that keeps me young.
I'm 55 years old and have enough ailments that if I lost my mind and started telling you about all of them, I'd sound like some old woman, you know the one, all she can do is talk about what's "ailin'" her. Just shoot me.
Anyway, I mention this so those of you that aren't "in the know" because you haven't been reading my blog long enough or know me well enough, will know that I have a lot of reasons not to feel so stinkin' young.
I don't talk about all of it very much or with very many people. My cousin, Melinda, used to get so mad at me for keeping these type of things from her so with time I think I've gotten better - but, I'll never feel comfortable telling you "all".

So, okay, I digress...............all the time! LOL
And, while I'm digressing, have you noticed that I've posted several times these last two weeks? It's only because I'm glued to this chair and ottoman - don't get used to it.

Okay.
Here's what keeps me young:

MY ART. Really. My art.

MY ART FRIENDS and ART RETREATS

JUNKING & ANTIQUE MALLS, ESTATE SALES & GARAGE SALES.

MY PHOTOGRAPHY.

I didn't realize it until I was putting this list together, but my YEARLY SHOPPING TRIPS WITH MY SORORITY SISTERS FROM COLLEGE.

MY BABY, BEN.

MY SENSE OF HUMOR.

YOUNG PEOPLE! Which includes MY LITTLE GIRL, SKYLER,

and BRAT!MY F.C.A. KIDS

MY LITTLE GIRL, CHRISTINA, and ANA!

MY BOYS. . .here we are, mom trying to take the annual Christmas picture...

I can honestly say that I have laughed until I couldn't breathe, until I snorted, until I cried, until I PIMP, and/or until milk came out of my nose, at one time or another with each of these groups.

And, there's more.......more groups, more individuals, my sisters, my cousins, BF'sF, more times, daily for instance, that have involved everyone I love, or alone, because it's the way God made me - to see the humor *even if my mother doesn't - heeheehee* in even the oddest of moments.

And, hanging with the fun people, often the young people, is one of my secrets. Young people are a riot. PIMP!!

"OO" to my precious readers and especially to you - hugs are so important!

. . . .Jan