Tuesday, February 2, 2016

MY SAVING GRACE

I can't believe it's been an entire year since I posted on my blog.
However, when I think back to 2015 (actually 2013 - 2015) I realize that it's not surprising
that I haven't been around. It was a challenging year with many
new medical adventures.
if I wasn't so stinkin' cute I'd look odd. 

Let me bring you up to date. 
I now go to Houston to a Chronic Dry Eye Specialist.
I give my blood and they extract the plasma and put it in these 
thin "capsules" and I use my own plasma as the treatment
of my condition. They're called plasma tears.  
They're my eye drops! I will tell you that I was surprised
when Dr. P., after running some eye tests, told me
that I have zero moisture on my eyeballs.
This treatment is the first one that I've found that works great! 
Finally I only fight squiggles of dog hair finding their way onto my eyes! 
I am so grateful for Dr. Pflufelger. What a blessing he has been to me!

I finished up the surgeries on my left ankle. I ended up having two surgeries
in 2014 - one in April and one in December.
It was certainly a lesson in patience. I ended up having to 
wear a surgical boot to France, go to my son, Blake's, wedding
in a wheelchair of which I was in for 7 months. 
Dr. Casillas in San Antonio is such a great doctor
and surgeon. I have been blessed by him and his staff
for being so caring!

Last year in January I knew I was coming out of the surgical boot
and could get on with my life! I was zeroed in on one of my son's
friend's wedding in March. I love this kid and was so looking 
forward to going somewhere untethered!
If I tell you that his wedding gift is still in our garage
that should be all you need to hear! But, explaining why it is 
will show you why God is my saving grace.
For a few weeks I found myself short of breath some.
X-rays taken, specialist found, referral made, appointment kept.
I was out of the surgical boot and the wedding was 
coming up! I kept the appointment.......

I had known my pulmonary doctor about 10 minutes 
before (I allowed him; gave him the power) he completely destroyed me. 
You see, this appointment was the Monday before
the wedding weekend and I'm was still focused on
the fun we were going to have with all of Clay's college friends!
and I turn 8 with grace with my perfectly coiffed friends.

Okay, so the doctor takes a reading of my O2 level.
It's supposed to be between 95 -100. Mine was 79.
Since doctors are notorious about NOT explaining things 
this didn't register with me as something extremely dangerous for he didn't
seem concerned.
So when he told me he was admitting me to the hospital
right then, do not pass Go, do not attend the wedding,
I sobbed. I sobbed and asked very nicely while snot threatened
to spill out of my nose, for it to be put off
until after the wedding but he wouldn't budge (or give
me any information about what was going on).
He probably thought I was some crazy woman
folded over at the waist crying! I did notice that he backed 
up some. Shuffled actually. He shuffled when he walked.
Should have been my first clue.
I was in the hospital for 4 days. For two of those days
I cried. Sitting folded over at the waist in my 
comfortable hospital bed, I sobbed.
I was scared now. I was holding on to my hope,
the hope that I have always had these past 9 years
of medical stuff, hanging on by. a. thread.

So much so that I was very frightened that I wouldn't 
be able to hold on to my hope. I saw myself
hanging by that thread over a deep and very dark abyss.
In a moment I knew how close I was to losing my faith, my hope.
Oh, God, please, please HELP ME.

I have never been so frightened to lose something so dear to me.
My salvation. My God and His grace. Can you feel
my fear?? 

Somehow I managed to pull myself back. I don't think I'll ever forget
that moment. What a blessing to me to have hope even
in the midst of so much chronic pain.
"And now an update on the saga of JT's O2 adventures..."
I'm on O2 24/7, I have changed doctors from the shuffling little man
to an aggressive, very thorough and kinda preppy specialist in SAtown.
I ask a question and he answers it explaining his answer
as he goes along. What a blessing to have 
a doctor that wants to slow down the progression of my disease
which was misdiagnosed by my first doc. 
I have Bronchiectasis. It's chronic, progressive and also of the auto-immune family.

So many blessings in the middle of one of my scariest, most serious
diseases. God is my saving grace and He blesses me so much.
I am so grateful to have a God that loves me.


Then there's the kidney adventure but I'm tired of writing and 
you probably have to go to the bathroom. Let's just leave it at this - 
the kidney adventure is just that. An adventure full of blessings.

Live in gratitude. ~x


3 comments:

Curtains in My Tree said...

OH MY GOSH girl here's hoping and praying this is a much better year for you
The vintage pictures LOL are really cute

Patty said...

Jan, first let me say that I hope you have found the right people to help you. It's such a relief to finally find the right doctor! Since you mentioned San Antonio.... your name sounds so familiar to me, but I can't for the life of me think where I "might" know you from. I do know a Thomasson family, but they have two "esses" in their name. Have you lived in the area long ?

patty
castroville

bettyann said...

Oh my goodness girlfriend you have been in the fight of your life. Take care love and peace. ❤

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