MY SAVING GRACE

I can't believe it's been an entire year since I posted on my blog.

However, when I think back to 2015 (actually 2013 - 2015) I realize that it's not surprising

that I haven't been around. It was a challenging year with many

new medical adventures.

if I wasn't so stinkin' cute I'd look odd. 

Let me bring you up to date. 

I now go to Houston to a Chronic Dry Eye Specialist.

I give my blood and they extract the plasma and put it in these 

thin "capsules" and I use my own plasma as the treatment

of my condition. They're called plasma tears.  

They're my eye drops! I will tell you that I was surprised

when Dr. P., after running some eye tests, told me

that I have zero moisture on my eyeballs.

This treatment is the first one that I've found that works great! 

Finally I only fight squiggles of dog hair finding their way onto my eyes! 

I am so grateful for Dr. Pflufelger. What a blessing he has been to me!

I finished up the surgeries on my left ankle. I ended up having two surgeries

in 2014 - one in April and one in December.

It was certainly a lesson in patience. I ended up having to 

wear a surgical boot to France, go to my son, Blake's, wedding

in a wheelchair of which I was in for 7 months. 

Dr. Casillas in San Antonio is such a great doctor

and surgeon. I have been blessed by him and his staff

for being so caring!

Last year in January I knew I was coming out of the surgical boot

and could get on with my life! I was zeroed in on one of my son's

friend's wedding in March. I love this kid and was so looking 

forward to going somewhere untethered!

If I tell you that his wedding gift is still in our garage

that should be all you need to hear! But, explaining why it is 

will show you why God is my saving grace.

For a few weeks I found myself short of breath some.

X-rays taken, specialist found, referral made, appointment kept.

I was out of the surgical boot and the wedding was 

coming up! I kept the appointment.......

I had known my pulmonary doctor about 10 minutes 

before (I allowed him; gave him the power) he completely destroyed me. 

You see, this appointment was the Monday before

the wedding weekend and I'm was still focused on

the fun we were going to have with all of Clay's college friends!

and I turn 8 with grace with my perfectly coiffed friends.

Okay, so the doctor takes a reading of my O2 level.

It's supposed to be between 95 -100. Mine was 79.

Since doctors are notorious about NOT explaining things 

this didn't register with me as something extremely dangerous for he didn't
seem concerned.

So when he told me he was admitting me to the hospital

right then, do not pass Go, do not attend the wedding,

I sobbed. I sobbed and asked very nicely while snot threatened
to spill out of my nose, for it to be put off

until after the wedding but he wouldn't budge (or give

me any information about what was going on).

He probably thought I was some crazy woman

folded over at the waist crying! I did notice that he backed 

up some. Shuffled actually. He shuffled when he walked.

Should have been my first clue.

I was in the hospital for 4 days. For two of those days

I cried. Sitting folded over at the waist in my 

comfortable hospital bed, I sobbed.

I was scared now. I was holding on to my hope,

the hope that I have always had these past 9 years

of medical stuff, hanging on by. a. thread.

So much so that I was very frightened that I wouldn't 

be able to hold on to my hope. I saw myself

hanging by that thread over a deep and very dark abyss.

In a moment I knew how close I was to losing my faith, my hope.

Oh, God, please, please HELP ME.

I have never been so frightened to lose something so dear to me.

My salvation. My God and His grace. Can you feel

my fear?? 

Somehow I managed to pull myself back. I don't think I'll ever forget

that moment. What a blessing to me to have hope even

in the midst of so much chronic pain.

"And now an update on the saga of JT's O2 adventures..."

I'm on O2 24/7, I have changed doctors from the shuffling little man

to an aggressive, very thorough and kinda preppy specialist in SAtown.

I ask a question and he answers it explaining his answer
as he goes along. What a blessing to have 

a doctor that wants to slow down the progression of my disease

which was misdiagnosed by my first doc. 

I have Bronchiectasis. It's chronic, progressive and also of the auto-immune family.

So many blessings in the middle of one of my scariest, most serious

diseases. God is my saving grace and He blesses me so much.

I am so grateful to have a God that loves me.

Then there's the kidney adventure but I'm tired of writing and 

you probably have to go to the bathroom. Let's just leave it at this - 

the kidney adventure is just that. An adventure full of blessings.

Live in gratitude. ~x~ 

I COULDN'T HAVE SURGERY UNTIL I FINISHED THESE!

If your mind works like mine does,

and I'm sure there are millions that do,

then you couldn't have had serious surgery

this past Monday, 2 days ago,

until the invitations to the shower

you were making

were complete.

And, in the mail.

That's how our minds work.

That and the fact that if the invitations 

weren't posted until yesterday

or any day after, they would be late.

So, they had to be finished

and in the mail 

bright and early on this past Monday

morning as I was driven to

the hospital in SAtown.

Knowing that I had a lot to do, 

not that I had a surgery - that news came later,

I never should have chosen 

such a time consuming design.

But, that's who I am.

That's who God made and

who's to argue with God?

So, last Tuesday when an unscheduled

surgery was scheduled for this past Monday,

one thought entered my mind.

THE INVITATIONS!!!

You probably know that my middle son, Blake,

is getting married to a most 

delightful young lady whom I adore,

this summer.

Her mom, who has become a fast friend

and whom I call Babs,

along with my precious DIL, Jana, are 

giving those two a couple's shower.

I had the invitations started before the surgery

news but they weren't far enough along.

Oh, no, not nearly!

I've covered the front of the invitation with 

patterned paper. 

Then I made little bitty envelopes

from which hand cut hearts

of all sizes spring!

And, of course, glitter.

A tag with "You're invited" 

was adhered to the front of the envelope

and the actual invitation was

glued to the inside after

I scalloped one edge.

The envelopes had their own tag

for addressing. 

Adhered with wash tape - I love washi tape!

 I love them!

Cute invitations

were complete and in the mail

on the way to surgery.

And surgery??

Went quite well, thanks. 

Post and pics to come.

God bless you for reading!

God bless you for

your input.

I love your spirits of support.

IT COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE

It could.

Always be worse.

But every so often I have a 'moment'.

A moment where I sob.

I don't get mad at God.

I just feel sorry for myself.

But, only for a moment and then I move on!

I am so blessed.

No matter what physical challenges I face,

I. AM. SO. BLESSED.

And, this week has been challenging.

Let's start with January 13th - right knee replacement.

Because of Rheumatoid Arthritis.

As you age, RA changes.

It becomes degenerative in a horrid way.

On March 21st I had outpatient surgery

to clean up the area around my torn meniscus in my left knee.

RA again.

If you don't know, I've been going to a podiatrist, 

two different ones actually, for about 8 or 9 years

because I snapped the inside tendons on the inside of both feet.

I finally came to my senses after so, so many years of

the wrong treatments prescribed by my podiatrist(s).

I've come to the conclusion, and this is just my thought,

that podiatrists should only be allowed to work on the toe nails

of prisoners on death row. 

Just sayin'.

And, to save you from having to listen to me go on and on,

which I have no desire to do,

let me simply tell you that I made an appointment with

one of the top foot and ankle orthopedic surgeons in Texas.

I met with him this past Tuesday.

After Dr. Castillas looked at the x-rays, MRI and Cat Scan

of my left foot and ankle 

(it's in the biggest mess - right foot and ankle will be next)

A treatment decision was made.

I have surgery this Monday.

It was urgent to have the surgery as soon as possible. 

And, without going into all of the details,

Dr. C. said I would have lost my foot if things continued

the way they were..

Amputation.

So, surgery on my left foot and ankle is this Monday - one more day.

It's a major surgery says Dr. C., but one he's performed regularly.

The recuperation time??

This is the best part, of course!

EIGHT WEEKS - MY FOOT CANNOT TOUCH 

THE GROUND FOR EIGHT WEEKS.

 I have a trip I've very much looked forward to

with my sorority sisters that is not going to happen for me.

(hoping I can get my airline ticket $$ back)

I have wedding invitations to my son, Blake's, wedding to finish 

and get mailed. And, I have a honkin' reception hall to decorate.

The wedding is July 25th.

Oh, and then I leave for an art retreat (still a couple of seats open:)

in the South of France and then to Germany to see my

"little girl" and her family.

Let's get it done!! Time's wasting and I have things to do!

Please pray for the surgery and for the resulting pain and my recovery.

I do need those prayers.

And, if you want to come and visit I've got some fun

things to make for the wedding reception AND

a great art studio for playing!

 P.S. What would I do without my family? My boys and girls and little girls are great support. 

But, my sister, Joan, is my biggest support. 

 She is my heart.

 And, I couldn't get through this upcoming procedure or any in the past, without the Tank.

He takes amazing care of me.

 My cousin, Melinda, is so caring and loving. She is my rock.

I want to end with thanking you for putting up with me.

You read my sporadic blog posts.

Some of you lurk and some leave comments on Facebook

instead of my post, but you read me and I think you "get" me.

And, I love all of you dearly - lurkers, too. *wink*

Blessings.

PARTS OF THIS POST MAY BE DISTURBING TO MORE THAN JUST ME

Hello, my sweet friends!

This is Part 2 of the "IT SUCKS TO BE ME" post of a few weeks ago. You'll recall that I fractured four of the metarsals in my right foot and received a spiral fracture of the tibia (the smaller bone that runs the length of your calf located next to the larger fibia) just above the ankle on my right foot.

Look, a diagram for you:)

If any of that interested you, you're ready for vet school or even med school. Give it some thought - you should see how much the surgeon made to put me back together...Oh, wait. Never mind. Obama. Yeah.

Okay, let us move on to the more fun aspects of my stupid injuries...Just below is a picture of the historic Nix Hospital in downtown San Antonio, built in 1930, where I had my surgery and where my surgeon's office is located. You can't tell, but it only has three sides!! It is so cool looking!

This is a close-up of the outside of the building.

I took the picture below while we waited for the valet to park our car.

Oh, this picture is so cool - it's a picture of the elevators in the lobby of the 'we're really expensive because we're a historical' hospital.

You can see the amazing brass relief in the elevator doors. These doors are the original ones. Isn't that something?

'

P.A. Ryan and Doctor Casillas' partner (can't remember his name - he filled in for the picture because Dr. C. was MIA) Check it out - both docs wear a suit and tie every day.

Oh, you'll love this. The guy on the left is James. He always does the casting. So, the first time we met, we were talking, and I was being congenial and asked him what his title was and without missing a beat he said, "housekeeping". ROTF!! We do have fun!

The guy next to him is Dr. C.'s other P.A., Pat - he's the one that keeps telling me I can't walk yet. He is mean and uncooperative.

I thought the stitching on my foot was interesting and though it's not my nature to look at things icky, I took these next two pictures to give you an idea of what went on. See the pins sticking out of my foot? I did throw up a little in the back of my throat when I focused in on those - Woah!!! And you can see some of the staples that run up my leg where they went in to fix the spiral fracture on my tibia. There are pins, screws and plates in my foot and leg.

No more polka for me.

If you are finding this fascinating rather than a wee bit disgusting, I would get an application for vet school.

These are the stitches on the inside of my foot (and my swollen ankle). Yeah.

James from housekeeping getting my foot and leg ready for my RED cast. ...Did you know that they don't make casting in pale pink? I even looked on the internet; just neon pink which is for someone other than me.

I'm James' favorite as is evidenced by the purple band at the top of my cast.

My mom is my #1 nurse and I couldn't have gotten along these last 6 weeks without her. The Tank would have been in charge *shudder* lol. #1 nurse has a nurse's aide, Sister Mary Tina *she's Catholic*, and she is a huge help to #1 nurse. Not.

But she's really cute:)

Instead of crutches I have a red scooter just like the one pictured below. And, trust me, I am cuh-yut steering it around!

Now you know as much as I do (don't you love being in the loop??). I see Dr. C. on Monday. I will most likely be re-casted for two more weeks:( If I am, I sure hope I'll be allowed to put my foot down - not weight bearing, but at least down! OR, Dr. C. could agree with me that it's time for the Darth Vadar boot and some walkin'). Uh, yeah, that's gunna happen. LOL

Thanks for sharing in my recovery process by reading about it and leaving a comment that will make me smile. (The little things really help while I'm sitting here!)

I LOVE my readers!!

Be blessed, Jan

IS IT ANY WONDER THAT I COUNT Y'ALL AS FRIENDS??

Is it any wonder that I count y'all as friends?

Is it any wonder that some of my closest friends are women that I've never met face to face?

Is it any wonder that I count several of my blog friends as "BFF's"?

No, it's no wonder.

A lot of you have been with me for several years as I've blogged about everything from my art, the things that I think are funny, and my medical adventures *though I admit that I haven't been as open with those as I have with other things* because. . . . .

I have always felt that if I was too open with y'all that I would be setting myself up for your distain, that you may feel like my blog isn't the place for me to tell the world (yeah, the whole world reads my blog - I have a lot of lurkers) about my boo-boo's;  you all have your own problems, you don't want to read about mine.

And, worst of all, I was a bit concerned that you might think I was complaining. I try so hard not to complain that it would kill me to have someone think *or worse, "comment"* that I was complaining. But, slowly I have started sharing my many medical adventures, though I will admit that I don't share them all, and so far no one has said anything negative.

And, the pictures you're looking at are representative *to me* of the friendships that I have made with other like minded artists through my blogging.

I happened to receive all of these treasures from my good friend, Deb Christensen of Dye-ing to be Yours, and when she read that I was having pretty serious surgery last week, she put together a box of well wishes to make me smile! She is someone that I met through blogging and I simply adore her. See what I mean??

I had foot surgery last week and spent three delight (Vicadin) filled days in the hospital, coming home on Friday afternoon; and I understand the fun is just beginning.

Deb's gift represents all of the kind words, cards, phone calls (my precious friend, Julie of Kitchen Floor Creations actually called me from New York. Shut up!) and one of my closest friends, Anne of Fiona and Twig, has called several times and has posted updates on my condition on her own blog.

And the one thing that touches my heart more than anything else?
All of the prayers that have been lifted up on my behalf by many of you. (And don't stop praying, heck, don't stop sending presents, just because the surgery is over - there's lots more to this medical adventure.)

(If you don't know exactly what I'm referring to, scroll back a couple of posts and read IT SUCKS TO BE ME.)

All of you are so very precious to me. I hope I've been able to convey that; my words seem inadequate to me somehow. 

Anyway, I love you and I cherish the friendships that I have made through blogging. (And lurkers, I love you, too.....pssst...Julie used to lurk...)

xoxo, Jan

.....love the Lord with all your heart.....

IT SUCKS TO BE ME

IT SUCKS TO BE ME .....oh, that's silly!
I never think that.
Oh, wait, I thought it on Monday.
But just for a moment.
Okay, I had a few moments. *I'm smilin'*

So, here's what happened, yet another chapter in the Medical Adventures of Me. And, this Medical Adventure has a title, IT SUCKS TO BE ME.
You'll understand in a moment.

I think most of you know I have colitis. If you didn't know that and don't know what it is, well, you're just gunna have to google it - I'm not going there in pen.
(And, if you didn't know it and never wanted to know it, oops. But it explains the whole IT SUCKS TO BE ME.)
I have been in remission for a couple of years or so and then about a month ago I had a flare-up. It's still going on but I'm on a steroid that works hand in hand with my daily C. meds and it's been going pretty well; much better.
Well, I made a *really stupid* decision that I shouldn't be eating, just drinking Gatorade and water to stay hydrated. It made sense to me ("Not one word, Annette." :o)
So, for four days I did that. Oh, I had my moments of feeling a bit faint when I would stand up, but I chalked that up to my diet (I have wondered a bit about the contestants on Survivor - do they get faint because they don't have  food for a few days except for maybe a bug? Should I have been eating a few bugs?).

Everything was rockin' along until Monday and when I was walking to the bathroom...hurry, hurry...I became really faint so I leaned my forehead against the wall to wait for it to pass.
The moment didn't pass.
I did.
I passed out
It's an odd sensation.

Well it's me we're talking about and you know I don't do anything half way, but the fact that my right ankle swelled up like a balloon wasn't a big concern for me. I simply thought, ah, heck, I'll bet I bruised my ankle bad.

So I hobbled around the rest of the day. My ankle hurt so I KNEW that bone was bruised pretty badly. The pain radiated up the side of my calf and down to my toes. Ouch! Finally, bedtime and time to get off of my foot.

The next morning God nudged me and told me that perhaps xrays would be a good investment of my time. (He's so much smarter than me. lol) So I called my doc, Debbie, got her to do a lab request, got the xrays and then saw debbie in the exam room.
The news wasn't good. In fact, Debbie (and several of the smart mouthed nurses *said with a smile*) couldn't believe I had driven with my right foot.

What's the big deal??
They couldn't believe I'd been walking around on that foot.
What was I thinking??
Well, I wasn't thinking my foot was broken.

Debbie sent me to a really good ortho' surgeon in Kerrville and they fit me in that afternoon. Dr. Mitchell looked at my xrays, spoke to me in tongues and told me he was sending me to a specialist in San Antonio.
In this...

That sucker weighs as much as a small turkey, I swear.

And there was no color chart - just black.

Talk about adding insult to injury.

Off to the specialist in downtown SAtown we go the next day.

His office is in a beautiful hospital, Nix Hospital, built in the 30's.

The outside of that building is a dream.

So, I spend 5 1/2 hours sitting in a wheelchair (I was told by Dr. Mitchell that under no circumstances was my foot to meet the floor) that had a board for a seat (not really) waiting....Waiting for the appointment...waiting in the exam room for the doctor...waiting for the CAT scan...waiting for the doctor to explain the CAT scan...waiting for the scheduler to tell us what time to be back on Monday.................no food................no drink...................no water. We were exhaused, it was such a long day.

The Tank (staged picture) in the exam room

I loved everyone at this Foot and Ankle Center of South Texas. My doctor is Dr. Casillas, whom I really liked, and his P.A. is Ryan, who was wonderful.

P.A. Ryan and Dr. Benavides (Dr. Casillas had disappeared and I needed a picture so Dr. B. stepped in)

Okay, so here's what I learned...

I had fractured and dislocated four of my metatorsals (at the base).

That's the long bone connected to the toe bone or something like that.

The base of the metatorsals is in the middle of your foot.

Three of them were fractured, with one being "pulverized" (not my term) and two were displaced.

I also have a spiral fracture of that smaller bone in my leg, right above my ankle.

It was starting to make sense.

The fact that I was sent to be treated by these brainiacs was making sense, too.

I really destroyed my right foot - they considered the fracture above my ankle no biggie. *holding face in hands, screaming*

I was sent home with a splint that goes from my toes to the back of my knee and wrapped up like a cold mummy.

I cannot touch the floor with my right foot.

I must keep said foot elevated so that the swelling will go down and they can OPERATE. *I had been forwarned by Dr. Mitchell so I didn't cry*

I have to use a walker to get from my chair to the bathroom, to my bed, to my chair.

Oh, my gosh, no wonder I can't beat up my mother. I have no muscles.

On Monday, I return to the Nix to see if my swelling is gone, which they're anticipating, and if it is, I will be admitted to the hospital, have surgery on Tuesday and be sent home Wednesday or Thursday.

I'm thinkin' the real fun will begin after surgery.

Love you all,

Jan

P.S. Dad, I tried to call you, got your machine but wasn't allowed to leave a message and now it's today.

"praiseGod,praiseGod,praiseGod"

Hi, my precious friends and family, my faithful prayer warriors, and all of you that voted for McCain. (I'm kidding, you sillies)

We'll start this post with a picture of my mother *going through her Publisher's Clearinghouse tree*
(get it? the trees they waste putting all of those packets together? Junk mail - another post...). She's home! She feels like sitting up and reading, she's eating and drinking (water - I'm drinking Boones Farm) JK!
If we keep her on her pain med schedule then she doesn't get a headache! woooooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

I was so happy when I saw my mom the morning after her *brain* surgery and saw how wonderful she looked compared to the night before {just after her surgery} that the words just popped out of my mouth - "I'M SO HAPPY!" when I saw her.
I was just so stinkin' happy! God is so good! I knew that he would fix everything, that he would heal my mother, but to have him do it per my request [heehee], uh-hum, in such a wonderful way was, well, all I can say is, "PRAISE GOD!" Remember my first post? "pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease"?
We're a far cry from that with, "praiseGodpraiseGodpraiseGodpraiseGod"! PRAISE GOD!!

Through all of this I was stressed from sitting, sitting, sitting at the hospital waiting, waiting, waiting for doctors, didn't get very good sleep *or enough*, concerned that the doctors weren't communicating with each other [don't get me started], determined to keep up with my blog posts for those of y'all that I knew were praying and checking for updates - you get it.
But not once, never, did I doubt God, loose my faith, waver in my belief that God was in charge no matter what his will. My mom was in the best of hands - His - and now she's home and doing fabulously.

The neurosurgeon drilled two holes in her skull and drained out approximately 1/4 cup of f-l-u-i-d. *gagging*
The night of the surgery, after mom had been moved into ICU, she had a honkin' headache ("I know!!") and it was pretty spooky looking down at her in her bed in the darkened room where we were told "no cell phones, no noise". Needless to say, my brother and sisters and I didn't stay long.
Flash forward to the next morning. . . ."I'M SO HAPPY!"

So. The next day, that would be yesterday, mom is being released - *happy dance*.
It's going to be a while before the paper work is finished and she can leave and Jean's at the hospital so. . . . . .Joan and I make a quick run to the antique mall in downtown Kalamazoo and I managed to get a hit, a fix.
These things below are just a few of the precious treasures that I found. Check out that sweet girl, and that small square box thing with the vintage ribbon. Those black dots are straight pins, and then there are the vintage baby shoes *I hope to make into pin cushions*, oh, and that fabric children's book, and the pink floral hat with pink netting, and that beautiful vintage hankie.
I wish you could have been there. I had goosebumps.

I just must show you a close-up of the vintage hankie. Isn't it gorgeous?
I found about a half dozen white vintage hankies there with beautiful needle work. Again, goosebumps.

One more thing and I'll stop talking! {I think because I'm getting to talk about something other than p-u-s and s-c-a-b-s that I'm a bit giddy}
Okay, these vintage Valentines were THE FIND OF THE DAY!
About 20 of them, all precious and all priced at, well, I just can't say it. It's obscene.
Wanna guess???
Hmmmm. Okay, I'm tired and wanna go to bed and read. Tomorrow will be here before I know it!
Oh, and fyi, I was supposed to be home yesterday, but, changed my plane reservations and will be staying with my mother until the 20th. That's two more weeks.
Please don't forget me - I'll need some type of stimulation other than a med schedule, taking mom's blood pressure 3X a day, doctor's appointments, walking to the mailbox and back every day for mom's exercise, cooking (okay, heating up what Joan cooked and froze), watching Law and Order re-runs day after day, and counting my blessings - I need y'all to keep me mindful of my studio and that it WILL be waiting for me when I go home.
Oh, and Frank the Tank??? He misses me terribly - says it's boring without me. Hope that doesn't change! LOL


XOXO,