IT SUCKS TO BE ME

IT SUCKS TO BE ME .....oh, that's silly!
I never think that.
Oh, wait, I thought it on Monday.
But just for a moment.
Okay, I had a few moments. *I'm smilin'*

So, here's what happened, yet another chapter in the Medical Adventures of Me. And, this Medical Adventure has a title, IT SUCKS TO BE ME.
You'll understand in a moment.

I think most of you know I have colitis. If you didn't know that and don't know what it is, well, you're just gunna have to google it - I'm not going there in pen.
(And, if you didn't know it and never wanted to know it, oops. But it explains the whole IT SUCKS TO BE ME.)
I have been in remission for a couple of years or so and then about a month ago I had a flare-up. It's still going on but I'm on a steroid that works hand in hand with my daily C. meds and it's been going pretty well; much better.
Well, I made a *really stupid* decision that I shouldn't be eating, just drinking Gatorade and water to stay hydrated. It made sense to me ("Not one word, Annette." :o)
So, for four days I did that. Oh, I had my moments of feeling a bit faint when I would stand up, but I chalked that up to my diet (I have wondered a bit about the contestants on Survivor - do they get faint because they don't have  food for a few days except for maybe a bug? Should I have been eating a few bugs?).

Everything was rockin' along until Monday and when I was walking to the bathroom...hurry, hurry...I became really faint so I leaned my forehead against the wall to wait for it to pass.
The moment didn't pass.
I did.
I passed out
It's an odd sensation.

Well it's me we're talking about and you know I don't do anything half way, but the fact that my right ankle swelled up like a balloon wasn't a big concern for me. I simply thought, ah, heck, I'll bet I bruised my ankle bad.

So I hobbled around the rest of the day. My ankle hurt so I KNEW that bone was bruised pretty badly. The pain radiated up the side of my calf and down to my toes. Ouch! Finally, bedtime and time to get off of my foot.

The next morning God nudged me and told me that perhaps xrays would be a good investment of my time. (He's so much smarter than me. lol) So I called my doc, Debbie, got her to do a lab request, got the xrays and then saw debbie in the exam room.
The news wasn't good. In fact, Debbie (and several of the smart mouthed nurses *said with a smile*) couldn't believe I had driven with my right foot.

What's the big deal??
They couldn't believe I'd been walking around on that foot.
What was I thinking??
Well, I wasn't thinking my foot was broken.

Debbie sent me to a really good ortho' surgeon in Kerrville and they fit me in that afternoon. Dr. Mitchell looked at my xrays, spoke to me in tongues and told me he was sending me to a specialist in San Antonio.
In this...

That sucker weighs as much as a small turkey, I swear.

And there was no color chart - just black.

Talk about adding insult to injury.

Off to the specialist in downtown SAtown we go the next day.

His office is in a beautiful hospital, Nix Hospital, built in the 30's.

The outside of that building is a dream.

So, I spend 5 1/2 hours sitting in a wheelchair (I was told by Dr. Mitchell that under no circumstances was my foot to meet the floor) that had a board for a seat (not really) waiting....Waiting for the appointment...waiting in the exam room for the doctor...waiting for the CAT scan...waiting for the doctor to explain the CAT scan...waiting for the scheduler to tell us what time to be back on Monday.................no food................no drink...................no water. We were exhaused, it was such a long day.

The Tank (staged picture) in the exam room

I loved everyone at this Foot and Ankle Center of South Texas. My doctor is Dr. Casillas, whom I really liked, and his P.A. is Ryan, who was wonderful.

P.A. Ryan and Dr. Benavides (Dr. Casillas had disappeared and I needed a picture so Dr. B. stepped in)

Okay, so here's what I learned...

I had fractured and dislocated four of my metatorsals (at the base).

That's the long bone connected to the toe bone or something like that.

The base of the metatorsals is in the middle of your foot.

Three of them were fractured, with one being "pulverized" (not my term) and two were displaced.

I also have a spiral fracture of that smaller bone in my leg, right above my ankle.

It was starting to make sense.

The fact that I was sent to be treated by these brainiacs was making sense, too.

I really destroyed my right foot - they considered the fracture above my ankle no biggie. *holding face in hands, screaming*

I was sent home with a splint that goes from my toes to the back of my knee and wrapped up like a cold mummy.

I cannot touch the floor with my right foot.

I must keep said foot elevated so that the swelling will go down and they can OPERATE. *I had been forwarned by Dr. Mitchell so I didn't cry*

I have to use a walker to get from my chair to the bathroom, to my bed, to my chair.

Oh, my gosh, no wonder I can't beat up my mother. I have no muscles.

On Monday, I return to the Nix to see if my swelling is gone, which they're anticipating, and if it is, I will be admitted to the hospital, have surgery on Tuesday and be sent home Wednesday or Thursday.

I'm thinkin' the real fun will begin after surgery.

Love you all,

Jan

P.S. Dad, I tried to call you, got your machine but wasn't allowed to leave a message and now it's today.

OH, MY, THREE SHOCKING THINGS IN ONE DAY!

I feel like a red day, or night/evening, today, so red it is!

The first shocking thing happened yesterday, really, and it actually wasn't all that shocking...I saw it coming.

I went to the doctor about "my toe" and got the report I thought I would get. Oh, but first she, the doctor/human torturer/sick sicko, cut and did other very disgusting things to the skin on my toe that was...........DEAD.

Oh, I am so gagging right now.

During this "procedure" I had her put the blue screen up in front of my face because I would have thrown up on her head if I saw what she was doing.

AND, I HAD TO PAY FOR THIS PROCEDURE! What is this world coming to?

She was so happy with me, so that helped calm my pounding heart.
She was kind of funny, too, because every time I would make a noise when I would think about what she was doing, she would think she had hurt me and would apologize.

I'd have to remind her that I had drug induced neuropathy and only felt constant mind numbing tingling, no pain.

Hmmmm. She knows that, too. Makes me wonder about her memory. I better check on that.

She told me to stay off of it for two more weeks, that the skin around the *eyes squeezed shut, gagging* ulcer looked good, red but good. The *ditto* ulcer itself was still an open wound and that's why it was so important that I stay off of my feet. No walking. (And, I saw blood)

So, I kind of mentioned that I thought I was leaving town next Thursday (it was originally Wednesday, but I thought I'd be pushing my luck) for Oklahoma City.

Uhhh, she looked at me and had the gall to ask me what I was going to OKC for.
Nosey.
I told her, quietly, "sorority shopping trip".

You would have thought I had told her, "sorority shopping trip".
Good grief!

"Are you taking a wheelchair?".

"Uh, no-o."

"You can't be on your feet."

"I'll take a book to read while they shop. That will work."

We went back and forth like this for a while and then I made an appointment for next Wednesday (8 days) when she will tell me if I can go.

Ughhhh! Doctors. They can be such fun suckers.

I'm going to be very good and stay in this chair with my leg up on the pillow topped ottoman, constantly flexing my ankle so I don't get blood clots AGAIN.

My luck, I'll get bed sores and my toe will be pristine next Wednesday.....

The second shocking thing is this website I happened upon.
Now, I'm going to give you the website address but you can't go if you haven't visited my two shops.

That's the rule.

http://www.wickedlychic.com/category/Daily+Ditties/

It's got some fabulous things!

And, the third shocking thing I'm going to save for another day.

OH, ALRIGHT, SO I FORGOT WHAT IT WAS.

Big Deal!!!
Geez.

XOXO, Jan
available in my Etsy and Lollishop or it might just be in my Lollishop. I can't remember right now. Somebody shoot me. (oh, I'm just kidding)