MY SAVING GRACE

I can't believe it's been an entire year since I posted on my blog.

However, when I think back to 2015 (actually 2013 - 2015) I realize that it's not surprising

that I haven't been around. It was a challenging year with many

new medical adventures.

if I wasn't so stinkin' cute I'd look odd. 

Let me bring you up to date. 

I now go to Houston to a Chronic Dry Eye Specialist.

I give my blood and they extract the plasma and put it in these 

thin "capsules" and I use my own plasma as the treatment

of my condition. They're called plasma tears.  

They're my eye drops! I will tell you that I was surprised

when Dr. P., after running some eye tests, told me

that I have zero moisture on my eyeballs.

This treatment is the first one that I've found that works great! 

Finally I only fight squiggles of dog hair finding their way onto my eyes! 

I am so grateful for Dr. Pflufelger. What a blessing he has been to me!

I finished up the surgeries on my left ankle. I ended up having two surgeries

in 2014 - one in April and one in December.

It was certainly a lesson in patience. I ended up having to 

wear a surgical boot to France, go to my son, Blake's, wedding

in a wheelchair of which I was in for 7 months. 

Dr. Casillas in San Antonio is such a great doctor

and surgeon. I have been blessed by him and his staff

for being so caring!

Last year in January I knew I was coming out of the surgical boot

and could get on with my life! I was zeroed in on one of my son's

friend's wedding in March. I love this kid and was so looking 

forward to going somewhere untethered!

If I tell you that his wedding gift is still in our garage

that should be all you need to hear! But, explaining why it is 

will show you why God is my saving grace.

For a few weeks I found myself short of breath some.

X-rays taken, specialist found, referral made, appointment kept.

I was out of the surgical boot and the wedding was 

coming up! I kept the appointment.......

I had known my pulmonary doctor about 10 minutes 

before (I allowed him; gave him the power) he completely destroyed me. 

You see, this appointment was the Monday before

the wedding weekend and I'm was still focused on

the fun we were going to have with all of Clay's college friends!

and I turn 8 with grace with my perfectly coiffed friends.

Okay, so the doctor takes a reading of my O2 level.

It's supposed to be between 95 -100. Mine was 79.

Since doctors are notorious about NOT explaining things 

this didn't register with me as something extremely dangerous for he didn't
seem concerned.

So when he told me he was admitting me to the hospital

right then, do not pass Go, do not attend the wedding,

I sobbed. I sobbed and asked very nicely while snot threatened
to spill out of my nose, for it to be put off

until after the wedding but he wouldn't budge (or give

me any information about what was going on).

He probably thought I was some crazy woman

folded over at the waist crying! I did notice that he backed 

up some. Shuffled actually. He shuffled when he walked.

Should have been my first clue.

I was in the hospital for 4 days. For two of those days

I cried. Sitting folded over at the waist in my 

comfortable hospital bed, I sobbed.

I was scared now. I was holding on to my hope,

the hope that I have always had these past 9 years

of medical stuff, hanging on by. a. thread.

So much so that I was very frightened that I wouldn't 

be able to hold on to my hope. I saw myself

hanging by that thread over a deep and very dark abyss.

In a moment I knew how close I was to losing my faith, my hope.

Oh, God, please, please HELP ME.

I have never been so frightened to lose something so dear to me.

My salvation. My God and His grace. Can you feel

my fear?? 

Somehow I managed to pull myself back. I don't think I'll ever forget

that moment. What a blessing to me to have hope even

in the midst of so much chronic pain.

"And now an update on the saga of JT's O2 adventures..."

I'm on O2 24/7, I have changed doctors from the shuffling little man

to an aggressive, very thorough and kinda preppy specialist in SAtown.

I ask a question and he answers it explaining his answer
as he goes along. What a blessing to have 

a doctor that wants to slow down the progression of my disease

which was misdiagnosed by my first doc. 

I have Bronchiectasis. It's chronic, progressive and also of the auto-immune family.

So many blessings in the middle of one of my scariest, most serious

diseases. God is my saving grace and He blesses me so much.

I am so grateful to have a God that loves me.

Then there's the kidney adventure but I'm tired of writing and 

you probably have to go to the bathroom. Let's just leave it at this - 

the kidney adventure is just that. An adventure full of blessings.

Live in gratitude. ~x~ 

IT COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE

It could.

Always be worse.

But every so often I have a 'moment'.

A moment where I sob.

I don't get mad at God.

I just feel sorry for myself.

But, only for a moment and then I move on!

I am so blessed.

No matter what physical challenges I face,

I. AM. SO. BLESSED.

And, this week has been challenging.

Let's start with January 13th - right knee replacement.

Because of Rheumatoid Arthritis.

As you age, RA changes.

It becomes degenerative in a horrid way.

On March 21st I had outpatient surgery

to clean up the area around my torn meniscus in my left knee.

RA again.

If you don't know, I've been going to a podiatrist, 

two different ones actually, for about 8 or 9 years

because I snapped the inside tendons on the inside of both feet.

I finally came to my senses after so, so many years of

the wrong treatments prescribed by my podiatrist(s).

I've come to the conclusion, and this is just my thought,

that podiatrists should only be allowed to work on the toe nails

of prisoners on death row. 

Just sayin'.

And, to save you from having to listen to me go on and on,

which I have no desire to do,

let me simply tell you that I made an appointment with

one of the top foot and ankle orthopedic surgeons in Texas.

I met with him this past Tuesday.

After Dr. Castillas looked at the x-rays, MRI and Cat Scan

of my left foot and ankle 

(it's in the biggest mess - right foot and ankle will be next)

A treatment decision was made.

I have surgery this Monday.

It was urgent to have the surgery as soon as possible. 

And, without going into all of the details,

Dr. C. said I would have lost my foot if things continued

the way they were..

Amputation.

So, surgery on my left foot and ankle is this Monday - one more day.

It's a major surgery says Dr. C., but one he's performed regularly.

The recuperation time??

This is the best part, of course!

EIGHT WEEKS - MY FOOT CANNOT TOUCH 

THE GROUND FOR EIGHT WEEKS.

 I have a trip I've very much looked forward to

with my sorority sisters that is not going to happen for me.

(hoping I can get my airline ticket $$ back)

I have wedding invitations to my son, Blake's, wedding to finish 

and get mailed. And, I have a honkin' reception hall to decorate.

The wedding is July 25th.

Oh, and then I leave for an art retreat (still a couple of seats open:)

in the South of France and then to Germany to see my

"little girl" and her family.

Let's get it done!! Time's wasting and I have things to do!

Please pray for the surgery and for the resulting pain and my recovery.

I do need those prayers.

And, if you want to come and visit I've got some fun

things to make for the wedding reception AND

a great art studio for playing!

 P.S. What would I do without my family? My boys and girls and little girls are great support. 

But, my sister, Joan, is my biggest support. 

 She is my heart.

 And, I couldn't get through this upcoming procedure or any in the past, without the Tank.

He takes amazing care of me.

 My cousin, Melinda, is so caring and loving. She is my rock.

I want to end with thanking you for putting up with me.

You read my sporadic blog posts.

Some of you lurk and some leave comments on Facebook

instead of my post, but you read me and I think you "get" me.

And, I love all of you dearly - lurkers, too. *wink*

Blessings.

IT SUCKS TO BE ME

IT SUCKS TO BE ME .....oh, that's silly!
I never think that.
Oh, wait, I thought it on Monday.
But just for a moment.
Okay, I had a few moments. *I'm smilin'*

So, here's what happened, yet another chapter in the Medical Adventures of Me. And, this Medical Adventure has a title, IT SUCKS TO BE ME.
You'll understand in a moment.

I think most of you know I have colitis. If you didn't know that and don't know what it is, well, you're just gunna have to google it - I'm not going there in pen.
(And, if you didn't know it and never wanted to know it, oops. But it explains the whole IT SUCKS TO BE ME.)
I have been in remission for a couple of years or so and then about a month ago I had a flare-up. It's still going on but I'm on a steroid that works hand in hand with my daily C. meds and it's been going pretty well; much better.
Well, I made a *really stupid* decision that I shouldn't be eating, just drinking Gatorade and water to stay hydrated. It made sense to me ("Not one word, Annette." :o)
So, for four days I did that. Oh, I had my moments of feeling a bit faint when I would stand up, but I chalked that up to my diet (I have wondered a bit about the contestants on Survivor - do they get faint because they don't have  food for a few days except for maybe a bug? Should I have been eating a few bugs?).

Everything was rockin' along until Monday and when I was walking to the bathroom...hurry, hurry...I became really faint so I leaned my forehead against the wall to wait for it to pass.
The moment didn't pass.
I did.
I passed out
It's an odd sensation.

Well it's me we're talking about and you know I don't do anything half way, but the fact that my right ankle swelled up like a balloon wasn't a big concern for me. I simply thought, ah, heck, I'll bet I bruised my ankle bad.

So I hobbled around the rest of the day. My ankle hurt so I KNEW that bone was bruised pretty badly. The pain radiated up the side of my calf and down to my toes. Ouch! Finally, bedtime and time to get off of my foot.

The next morning God nudged me and told me that perhaps xrays would be a good investment of my time. (He's so much smarter than me. lol) So I called my doc, Debbie, got her to do a lab request, got the xrays and then saw debbie in the exam room.
The news wasn't good. In fact, Debbie (and several of the smart mouthed nurses *said with a smile*) couldn't believe I had driven with my right foot.

What's the big deal??
They couldn't believe I'd been walking around on that foot.
What was I thinking??
Well, I wasn't thinking my foot was broken.

Debbie sent me to a really good ortho' surgeon in Kerrville and they fit me in that afternoon. Dr. Mitchell looked at my xrays, spoke to me in tongues and told me he was sending me to a specialist in San Antonio.
In this...

That sucker weighs as much as a small turkey, I swear.

And there was no color chart - just black.

Talk about adding insult to injury.

Off to the specialist in downtown SAtown we go the next day.

His office is in a beautiful hospital, Nix Hospital, built in the 30's.

The outside of that building is a dream.

So, I spend 5 1/2 hours sitting in a wheelchair (I was told by Dr. Mitchell that under no circumstances was my foot to meet the floor) that had a board for a seat (not really) waiting....Waiting for the appointment...waiting in the exam room for the doctor...waiting for the CAT scan...waiting for the doctor to explain the CAT scan...waiting for the scheduler to tell us what time to be back on Monday.................no food................no drink...................no water. We were exhaused, it was such a long day.

The Tank (staged picture) in the exam room

I loved everyone at this Foot and Ankle Center of South Texas. My doctor is Dr. Casillas, whom I really liked, and his P.A. is Ryan, who was wonderful.

P.A. Ryan and Dr. Benavides (Dr. Casillas had disappeared and I needed a picture so Dr. B. stepped in)

Okay, so here's what I learned...

I had fractured and dislocated four of my metatorsals (at the base).

That's the long bone connected to the toe bone or something like that.

The base of the metatorsals is in the middle of your foot.

Three of them were fractured, with one being "pulverized" (not my term) and two were displaced.

I also have a spiral fracture of that smaller bone in my leg, right above my ankle.

It was starting to make sense.

The fact that I was sent to be treated by these brainiacs was making sense, too.

I really destroyed my right foot - they considered the fracture above my ankle no biggie. *holding face in hands, screaming*

I was sent home with a splint that goes from my toes to the back of my knee and wrapped up like a cold mummy.

I cannot touch the floor with my right foot.

I must keep said foot elevated so that the swelling will go down and they can OPERATE. *I had been forwarned by Dr. Mitchell so I didn't cry*

I have to use a walker to get from my chair to the bathroom, to my bed, to my chair.

Oh, my gosh, no wonder I can't beat up my mother. I have no muscles.

On Monday, I return to the Nix to see if my swelling is gone, which they're anticipating, and if it is, I will be admitted to the hospital, have surgery on Tuesday and be sent home Wednesday or Thursday.

I'm thinkin' the real fun will begin after surgery.

Love you all,

Jan

P.S. Dad, I tried to call you, got your machine but wasn't allowed to leave a message and now it's today.