HECK YEAH, I'M A PAPER COWGIRL

I have a confession to make. It's not a bad thing. In fact, it's a wonderful thing - one of the best things that has ever happened to me!

"Hi, my name is Jan and I'm a Paper Cowgirl."

Y-E--E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E H-A-A-A-A-A-A-W-W-W-W!!

Paper Cowgirl is an art retreat in Waxahachie, Texas, that is the brain-child of Tina Wright and Cindy Mayfield. This past summer we held our second retreat. I had the extreme pleasure of teaching a class this summer and at the first retreat. What a blessing!

The classes that are offered and the teachers are amazing! The fellowship, fun, food, classes, shopping, treats, Tina and Cindy, new friendships made and old friendships renewed...I could go on and on! It's such a great retreat - it's affordable (we work really hard to keep it that way) and it's not too big that you get lost in the crowd............oh, and it's in T-E-X-A-S!!!

I hope you'll check out the paper cowgirl blog and see what I'm talking about. Maybe you will decide that it's something you just can't afford to miss!

xoxo, Jan

Mmmm-mmmm, somebody owns a vintage purse and brooch! AND THE WINNER IS.....................................

Do you remember these? This vintage brooch and vintage evening bag?

They were in my "it's my 24th birthday again and I have over 100 followers" giftaway!

So, tonight I'm going to draw for the winner. I am using the http://www.random.org/ to draw the winning entry.

Oh, this is so exciting, I can hardly stand it! I wonder who won???

Oh. Oh. Guess you're wondering, too. I should step it up, huh.

So, I forgot, I wanted to tell you about my birthday!

What? You don't want to hear about my birthday???

Well, then why are you here?

Ohhhhhh, I remember! The giftaway! heeheehee

Okay, so here's the random number thingy and the winning number is.....55!!

Let me go count down and see where that lands - remember, you earned all kinds of extra entries for different and wonderful things that you had done or were dying to do...

I'm going to count RIGHT NOW (scroll down for results...........so exciting!). And the winner is.................................*drum rolling*..................................IRMA of http://irmasrosecottage.blogspot.com/ !!! Yea for Irma!

I want to thank everyone that took the time to enter my giftaway, visit my blog and leave such lovely comments. This has been such a blessing for me. This giftaway was one of the many blessings I received on my birthday.

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XOXO, Jan

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME AND PRESENTS FOR YOU!

I'll be 56 on September 1st. Or, you can think like I do - my 24th birthday is September 1st because I look just like Barbie. Either way, I'M HAVING A BIRTHDAY!

And, what could be better than to gift y'all??!! So, keep reading and you'll see just how you can be the one to receive gifts on MY birthday! This is just so much stinkin' fun!

Oh, my gosh, I almost forgot! The reason you're getting two gifts is because I'm also celebrating the fact that I have OVER 100 FOLLOWERS! I feel like a celebrity. One hundred followers is, to me, a really big deal. I'll probably keel over if I ever get over 200 - that would be rad!

The first lovely gift is a very cool vintage brooch that I bought at an estate sale. In the photo it looks about as big as my bum, but it's really just regular size - about 2 1/2 inches across, I think. It's simply gorgeous - not a stone missing. Just think of what you could use this on!

AND, you will also receive the gift of a vintage evening purse! It's made of black velvet and has intricate designs sewn on both sides with seed beads. It's absolutely fabulous! I bought it at an estate sale, also. I bought both the vintage brooch and the vintage evening bag especially for this giftaway. I wanted two very special gifts for you.
See how it opens? Very cool. It opens with some kind of spring thingy that bends in the middle so it's really easy to get into. The lining of the evening bag is black satin. It's just beautiful!
Now, this giftaway is not only for having over 100 followers, it's for my birthday so that I can gift you, my readers.

And, I'll be adding a lot of extras to this giftaway to make it REALLY special!!

I've given so much thought as to how I wanted to do this.....did I want to just take comments as entries since these are being specially gifted to you? Or did I want to have the odds tilt towards the faithful readers that have stuck with me over time?

Let's see what I decided as you read...

rules of the giftaway:

1. Leave a glowing (LOL) comment = ONE ENTRY

2. If you are already a follower of my blog = TWO MORE ENTRIES

That's right - you get two more entries if you're already a follower of my blog.

3. If you sign up TODAY to follow my blog (see the right column of my blog) = ONE

MORE ENTRY

4. If you already follow me on Facebook = TWO MORE ENTRIES

That's right - you get two more entries if you're already a follower of me on fb.

5. If you sign up TODAY to follow me on Facebook (see the right column of my

blog) = ONE MORE ENTRY

6. If you leave an enticing post on YOUR blog about this giftaway = TWO MORE

ENTRIES.

That's right, sweet ones, two more entries.

(BE SURE AND LEAVE YOUR BLOG ADDRESS SO I CAN VISIT IT AND SEE YOUR
ENTICING POST:)

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7. If you send me a very nice birthday present you automatically win. hahaha

(JUST KIDDING!!)

Okay, that's it, girls! I hope you have as much fun reaching for the gifts as I have had creating this giftaway!

REMEMBER TO LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU QUALIFY FOR WHEN YOU LEAVE YOUR COMMENT.

AND, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, LEAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS!

Thanks so much everyone for entering! You know what I always say, the more the merrier - that's what makes a great birthday party!!

XOXO, Jan

A GLIMPSE INTO THE HEART OF ME

This is big. I'm going to let you have a glimpse into my heart.
The reason it's big is because I don't let others into my heart. I have a problem letting my husband, my best friend, my sisters, mom, you, into the heart of me. I normally put on the "If I was any better, I'd be twins." face to everyone or, "I'm fabulous!" when asked how I'm doing. I've had my moments of depression in the past before I got on the right dosage of the correct medication, but I can really only remember one that effected others; that I couldn't hide. In fact, it almost destroyed my relationship with my BFF because I wouldn't let her in.

So, like I said, I'm going to let you have a small glimpse into my heart. I may not post this, though. I use my blog as a journal of my life and my art and some short humorous stories, but I'm hoping that God lets me just write this and not share it with the world. Okay, maybe not the world. With my six readers.

I have a great sense of humor, I can be sarcastic, I can make you think I'm serious as can be the entire time I'm pranking you with a 'story', I have a passion for rescue animals, children living in poverty, God and my relationship with him, my boys, my family and the few friends that I allow close enough to be real friends, my art, my blog and JOY. I like to think that I'm a kind person because "nice" matters so much to me. I like to think that I can discern your pain and help you, love you and pray for you. I like to think that I look like Barbie and that I'm going to be 24 again on my next birthday. (that was one of those "stories". It's not true.). I like to think that I'm nice.
And, this is really important to me, I hope that you never realize how much physical pain I'm in every day, all day, 24/7; yeah, we're talking chronic pain.
Very few people in my life, maybe four, but I think it's three, before this post, have ever known when I'm experiencing "physical adventures". Of course, it's impossible to keep the hospital stays, near death experiences, surgeries, emergency surgeries, balding head and leg braces a secret! And, all of this has happened in the last six years.

Here's what happened recently that has given me pause. I can't get it off of my mind and I have felt God urging me to journal about it and hopefully that's all it will take for me to get past it and go on.
During a 'heated' discussion where I had questioned someone close to me about their response to something innocent and nice I relayed to them - I felt they were cruel in a comment they made to my message - and we had moved on to pain and how it effects one's outlook on life and I simply said, "I live with pain 24/7 and don't complain about it." The response I got to that comment was, "THAT'S WHY I TOLERATE YOU!!".

My jaw dropped.
I was speechless.
(I'm rarely speechless. I think the last time was when I thought there was a chance Obama's health plan might not make it.)
Their words cut through my heart in such a way that I was simply speechless. I couldn't have talked anyway, I was so choked up.

Is that what I am? Someone to tolerate because you feel sorry for me, you that know me? Is that what I am? .........Not feeling the love, I looked "tolerate" up in the thesaurus. Words that can be substituted are, "stand, bear, put up with, endure, stomach". I won't need therapy for this, but I can't remember the last time I was so hurt, so completely destroyed.

Words. They're so powerful. I can think of people that I know that I could destroy with words. It creeps me out just thinking about how much power my words could have on someone in a damaging way.
It might take me as long to get over those few words as it would to put toothpaste back in the tube once it's squeezed out. It's impossible to take back our words. Words are so powerful.
I know in my heart of hearts that they didn't mean what they said. But, I'm not foolish enough to think that it wasn't somewhere in their subconscious, lurking like some of my readers. I know this person loves me and I'll believe it by the end of the week. It will take some time and prayer for me to get completely past this - my sense of self worth was pretty much destroyed a long time ago by someone else close to me (see why I have issues?) though I've gotten past that for the most part through therapy. I still struggle with abandonment and trust issues.

Geez, I'm tellin' y'all way too much. This is the GET DOWN post. Maybe I'll start a trend and we'll all get real with each other instead of just showing our party faces and our glitter. Who knows?

I know that even I have hurt people's feelings with a sarcastic comment. I rarely, if ever, know it at the time it happens (that would be too easy); I learn about it later from someone else.
Gre-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-t. And when I do learn of it? It tears a new crack in my heart. I would never, ever, say something that would hurt someone; never intentionally. But I'm no different than Tolerate-head or you. We're human.

Perhaps God allowed this to happen so that I would be reminded to use kind words in all of my interactions with every person that crosses my path. Maybe he's arming me for a particular situation where I might be tempted to be anything but kind. Or maybe it's as simple as he wanted me to become more of a person to some of the dearest friends I have - y'all. No party face or glitter in this post, no sirree.

So, the next time you're tempted to strike out with a cruel word, maybe you'll remember this post and think twice. And, the next time someone crosses your path that you wouldn't necessarily speak to for whatever reason, try a kind word and see what happens. It may be that you say it at just the moment they need to hear it.

Warmly,
and I hope I'm not sorry I spilled my guts tomorrow because I'm feelin' the urgings of "Him" to post,

Jan

MY SISTER, THE DORK

Hasn't it been fun, using different colored fonts for my posts? I'm loving this white background!

Okay, on to the subject at hand...a little behind in getting this posted, but it's so important that you know the REAL Joan that I'm posting late.

My sister, Joan.

Wow. An amazing cook.

We have so much fun when we're together!

We go junking, she cooks while I work in my studio, we ride the back roads with our cameras looking for those perfect pictures.

She's not only a LD teacher of 25+ years, but she's also a professional photographer.Soon hoping to be as good as me. heeheehee

She is all of these amazing things and we are very close...

Then she pulls stuff like this and I can only say..."YOU ARE SUCH A DORK!!!"

We took a road trip to east Texas in June while she was down here visiting - we were just looking for great junk shops, boutiques, photo-ops, just whatever. We planned on spending the night so we were in no hurry. It was just a laid back trip in my convertible *with the top down* and Joan at the wheel because **long story**.

Here I am showing you the chapstick in question.
The innocent, wee bitty tube of relief that became the tool that Joan abused even while driving a car...

We're flying along at a speed that could have killed me if Joan wasn't giving the road, the traffic, unseen traps, her full attention...
With the top down, I applied some, admittedly soft from the heat, chapstick and asked Joan if she wanted some.

She did, so I passed it to her without looking at her - I'm busy watching the road...

Finally, she passes it back to me.
I look down to put the cap back on and it looked like someone had chewed on the chapstick!!!

While looking down at the mess I asked her,

"WHAT DID YOU DO, CHEW ON IT???"...

I look over at her and there she is just waiting for me to look...
The chapstick was so soft that when she went to spread it on her lips, it came off in a clump.

Only Joan, okay, maybe me too, would sit there for what had to seem like forever, holding the wad on her lip, just waiting for me to look over at her!

I could not breathe...I was laughing so hard.

What a hoot!

The way it all played out was just perfect...what a dork!

But, oh, it gets worse...

Of course, I have to take the wad and dispose of it because the trash sack is on my side, but after it's on my finger I make the hard decision that that wet, slimy piece of chapstick is NOT going in my really cute trash sack.

So, I flick it out my side of the car and put my right arm back up on the door to get some more sun *remember the top is down*.

A couple of minutes later I look down and see this!!!........

THE CHAPSTICK THAT I HAD FLICKED OUT OF MY SIDE OF THE CAR
IS ON MY ARM!!

"JO-O-O-O-O-O-O-AN!!!!!"

My sister....BFF, amazing cook, professional photographer, teacher of young minds (that has become a scary thought, hasn't it?). . .DORK.

The End.

I want to thank all of my amazing readers for sticking around to meet my sister, Joan. She really is the best, but, I had to share one of the many dorky experiences we have when we're together! PIMP!!

XOXO, Jan