I SEEM TO KEEP TRYING TO KILL MYSELF

I'm doing this post in "grey" to represent the color of brain matter.
I'll get to that in a minute.

First, let me tell you that I'm posting about my yearly summer reunion with my four closest friends from my college sorority, Kappa Delta at Oklahoma State University. We've been getting together every summer for, I think, about 27 or 28 years. We're not the original five because our sister, Susan Taylor Painter, succumbed to brain cancer several years ago. To keep us at five we added the always precious and fun, Rhonda Davis Carretero.

This is the first of probably three posts about this summer's gathering.
I'm starting with the most graphic and unusual happening at one of our gatherings......

This summer we all met in Oklahoma City (Edmond) at Suzie's house. She acted as hostess instead of us getting a hotel or B&B as we usually do. She was just the best hostess and her house is lovely.

However, she has these stairs in her house that we had to go up and down to get from the first floor to the second floor where our bedrooms were located.

So that meant that I had to climb stairs.......and go down them...........

I am still having some problems with my ankles, though I'm not in leg braces any longer, but need to be really careful, especially on uneven ground AND STAIRS.

The first picture right after the fall. Well, first I had to yell, "Get my camera! I'll blog this!" See that lump on the right side of my nose? That's not normally there. And, of course, I didn't take the picture.

So, what could have possessed me to fill my arms so full to go downstairs first thing in the morning? So full that I couldn't hold on to the railing.........I even yelled back at Rhonda, "I'm fixin to go down the stairs and I'm not hanging on!"

What was I thinking???

All I could hear was screaming, "CALL 911!!" "GET ICE!!" "DON'T YOU DARE BLEED ON MY CARPET!!"

I hit the third step and took flight! I didn't "fall down" the stairs. I "flew down the stairs". All six of the remaining steps - we're talkin' airborne!

What stopped me, you ask?

The wall at the landing.

Face first into a wall traveling no less than 95 mph.

I'm so fortunate that the hit didn't send bone shards from my nose up into my brain.

Thus, the reference at the beginning of this blog about "brain matter". Rhonda and I played doctor after the fall, taping up my nose in this ridiculous manner and then we calmly walked into the den like we really had "dressed" my injury. It was a HOOT!

I'm serious (not about how fast I was flying) when I say it could have killed me.
Nope. God said, "I've told you time and time again, no matter what you do to hurt yourself, I've got plans for you and you're not coming over until you've completed your assignment." (Sometimes He likes to play Mission Impossible.)

We took this picture while out shopping either later that day or the next morning.

I don't remember. Probably have a bit of amnesia.

What if it would have killed me? It would have changed everything we had planned for the weekend.

I would have felt terrible.

After I got home, I just got prettier and prettier.

LOOK AT MY NOSE! And, the puffiness under my right eye.

And the WRINKLES!! Now I look 56!

I hope you've enjoyed reading Part I of our summer gathering. I'll post Part II sometime soon. First I really want to tell you about my birthday weekend trip so it'll just have to wait.

Thanks for taking the time to visit me. I'm all better now. (Except for the wrinkles. *shrugging shoulders*) Check ya later! Hope you're enjoying your evening. We're fixin to cook stuffed pork chops for supper. Yum.

XOXO, Jan

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME AND PRESENTS FOR YOU!

I'll be 56 on September 1st. Or, you can think like I do - my 24th birthday is September 1st because I look just like Barbie. Either way, I'M HAVING A BIRTHDAY!

And, what could be better than to gift y'all??!! So, keep reading and you'll see just how you can be the one to receive gifts on MY birthday! This is just so much stinkin' fun!

Oh, my gosh, I almost forgot! The reason you're getting two gifts is because I'm also celebrating the fact that I have OVER 100 FOLLOWERS! I feel like a celebrity. One hundred followers is, to me, a really big deal. I'll probably keel over if I ever get over 200 - that would be rad!

The first lovely gift is a very cool vintage brooch that I bought at an estate sale. In the photo it looks about as big as my bum, but it's really just regular size - about 2 1/2 inches across, I think. It's simply gorgeous - not a stone missing. Just think of what you could use this on!

AND, you will also receive the gift of a vintage evening purse! It's made of black velvet and has intricate designs sewn on both sides with seed beads. It's absolutely fabulous! I bought it at an estate sale, also. I bought both the vintage brooch and the vintage evening bag especially for this giftaway. I wanted two very special gifts for you.
See how it opens? Very cool. It opens with some kind of spring thingy that bends in the middle so it's really easy to get into. The lining of the evening bag is black satin. It's just beautiful!
Now, this giftaway is not only for having over 100 followers, it's for my birthday so that I can gift you, my readers.

And, I'll be adding a lot of extras to this giftaway to make it REALLY special!!

I've given so much thought as to how I wanted to do this.....did I want to just take comments as entries since these are being specially gifted to you? Or did I want to have the odds tilt towards the faithful readers that have stuck with me over time?

Let's see what I decided as you read...

rules of the giftaway:

1. Leave a glowing (LOL) comment = ONE ENTRY

2. If you are already a follower of my blog = TWO MORE ENTRIES

That's right - you get two more entries if you're already a follower of my blog.

3. If you sign up TODAY to follow my blog (see the right column of my blog) = ONE

MORE ENTRY

4. If you already follow me on Facebook = TWO MORE ENTRIES

That's right - you get two more entries if you're already a follower of me on fb.

5. If you sign up TODAY to follow me on Facebook (see the right column of my

blog) = ONE MORE ENTRY

6. If you leave an enticing post on YOUR blog about this giftaway = TWO MORE

ENTRIES.

That's right, sweet ones, two more entries.

(BE SURE AND LEAVE YOUR BLOG ADDRESS SO I CAN VISIT IT AND SEE YOUR
ENTICING POST:)

.

7. If you send me a very nice birthday present you automatically win. hahaha

(JUST KIDDING!!)

Okay, that's it, girls! I hope you have as much fun reaching for the gifts as I have had creating this giftaway!

REMEMBER TO LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU QUALIFY FOR WHEN YOU LEAVE YOUR COMMENT.

AND, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, LEAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS!

Thanks so much everyone for entering! You know what I always say, the more the merrier - that's what makes a great birthday party!!

XOXO, Jan

A GLIMPSE INTO THE HEART OF ME

This is big. I'm going to let you have a glimpse into my heart.
The reason it's big is because I don't let others into my heart. I have a problem letting my husband, my best friend, my sisters, mom, you, into the heart of me. I normally put on the "If I was any better, I'd be twins." face to everyone or, "I'm fabulous!" when asked how I'm doing. I've had my moments of depression in the past before I got on the right dosage of the correct medication, but I can really only remember one that effected others; that I couldn't hide. In fact, it almost destroyed my relationship with my BFF because I wouldn't let her in.

So, like I said, I'm going to let you have a small glimpse into my heart. I may not post this, though. I use my blog as a journal of my life and my art and some short humorous stories, but I'm hoping that God lets me just write this and not share it with the world. Okay, maybe not the world. With my six readers.

I have a great sense of humor, I can be sarcastic, I can make you think I'm serious as can be the entire time I'm pranking you with a 'story', I have a passion for rescue animals, children living in poverty, God and my relationship with him, my boys, my family and the few friends that I allow close enough to be real friends, my art, my blog and JOY. I like to think that I'm a kind person because "nice" matters so much to me. I like to think that I can discern your pain and help you, love you and pray for you. I like to think that I look like Barbie and that I'm going to be 24 again on my next birthday. (that was one of those "stories". It's not true.). I like to think that I'm nice.
And, this is really important to me, I hope that you never realize how much physical pain I'm in every day, all day, 24/7; yeah, we're talking chronic pain.
Very few people in my life, maybe four, but I think it's three, before this post, have ever known when I'm experiencing "physical adventures". Of course, it's impossible to keep the hospital stays, near death experiences, surgeries, emergency surgeries, balding head and leg braces a secret! And, all of this has happened in the last six years.

Here's what happened recently that has given me pause. I can't get it off of my mind and I have felt God urging me to journal about it and hopefully that's all it will take for me to get past it and go on.
During a 'heated' discussion where I had questioned someone close to me about their response to something innocent and nice I relayed to them - I felt they were cruel in a comment they made to my message - and we had moved on to pain and how it effects one's outlook on life and I simply said, "I live with pain 24/7 and don't complain about it." The response I got to that comment was, "THAT'S WHY I TOLERATE YOU!!".

My jaw dropped.
I was speechless.
(I'm rarely speechless. I think the last time was when I thought there was a chance Obama's health plan might not make it.)
Their words cut through my heart in such a way that I was simply speechless. I couldn't have talked anyway, I was so choked up.

Is that what I am? Someone to tolerate because you feel sorry for me, you that know me? Is that what I am? .........Not feeling the love, I looked "tolerate" up in the thesaurus. Words that can be substituted are, "stand, bear, put up with, endure, stomach". I won't need therapy for this, but I can't remember the last time I was so hurt, so completely destroyed.

Words. They're so powerful. I can think of people that I know that I could destroy with words. It creeps me out just thinking about how much power my words could have on someone in a damaging way.
It might take me as long to get over those few words as it would to put toothpaste back in the tube once it's squeezed out. It's impossible to take back our words. Words are so powerful.
I know in my heart of hearts that they didn't mean what they said. But, I'm not foolish enough to think that it wasn't somewhere in their subconscious, lurking like some of my readers. I know this person loves me and I'll believe it by the end of the week. It will take some time and prayer for me to get completely past this - my sense of self worth was pretty much destroyed a long time ago by someone else close to me (see why I have issues?) though I've gotten past that for the most part through therapy. I still struggle with abandonment and trust issues.

Geez, I'm tellin' y'all way too much. This is the GET DOWN post. Maybe I'll start a trend and we'll all get real with each other instead of just showing our party faces and our glitter. Who knows?

I know that even I have hurt people's feelings with a sarcastic comment. I rarely, if ever, know it at the time it happens (that would be too easy); I learn about it later from someone else.
Gre-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-t. And when I do learn of it? It tears a new crack in my heart. I would never, ever, say something that would hurt someone; never intentionally. But I'm no different than Tolerate-head or you. We're human.

Perhaps God allowed this to happen so that I would be reminded to use kind words in all of my interactions with every person that crosses my path. Maybe he's arming me for a particular situation where I might be tempted to be anything but kind. Or maybe it's as simple as he wanted me to become more of a person to some of the dearest friends I have - y'all. No party face or glitter in this post, no sirree.

So, the next time you're tempted to strike out with a cruel word, maybe you'll remember this post and think twice. And, the next time someone crosses your path that you wouldn't necessarily speak to for whatever reason, try a kind word and see what happens. It may be that you say it at just the moment they need to hear it.

Warmly,
and I hope I'm not sorry I spilled my guts tomorrow because I'm feelin' the urgings of "Him" to post,

Jan

A NEW CUSTOMER, A NEW FRIEND AND A FUN SWAP!

So, I order this fabulous necklace from Molly at Miss Molly's Designs - I had to have it, I loved it.
So, she goes to my etsy shop and places an order with me and after exchanging some emails and becoming blog friends *we really hit it off* we decided to have a One on One Swap!
It was so much stinkin' fun!!

I wanted to show you this simple, different, yet gorgeous necklace that Molly made (I found it in her etsy shop). She made all of the links, has added fabulous beads and this wonderful old key. I love the simplicity and the use of a found object, the color of the beads............okay, I just love it!!!

And, now for my swap items from Molly!
Look at all of this!
It's all so wonderful - the square bingo cards are stiff cardboard *never seen anything like them*, the found objects (yea!!), a wonderful copper square that's been etched (stamped?) with the definition of "celebrate", other metal pieces (yea!!), these wonderful turquoise wee bitty bird beads and the clear gold "rhinestones", the retro' metal pink flower, these awesome buttons AND the container the necklace came in with the necklace so you can see it one more time:).
We're going to do it again, we had so much fun doing it the first time!
And, I want to do a destash - heck, I could do more than one of those! LOL
Go visit Molly's Etsy shop - she has a real gift! And, her blog, wonderful reading:)

Thanks for sharing in this wonderful swap with my new friend, Molly.

And, my loyal readers - gosh, I love y'all!
xoxo, Jan

Brynwood Needleworks BLOG GIVEAWAY

Mmmmmmmmm, mmmmmmmmmm. It's another fabulous blog giveaway. It's at Brynwood Needleworks to celebrate her 100th blog post! The drawings will be this coming Friday, August 14th.

MY SISTER, THE DORK

Hasn't it been fun, using different colored fonts for my posts? I'm loving this white background!

Okay, on to the subject at hand...a little behind in getting this posted, but it's so important that you know the REAL Joan that I'm posting late.

My sister, Joan.

Wow. An amazing cook.

We have so much fun when we're together!

We go junking, she cooks while I work in my studio, we ride the back roads with our cameras looking for those perfect pictures.

She's not only a LD teacher of 25+ years, but she's also a professional photographer.Soon hoping to be as good as me. heeheehee

She is all of these amazing things and we are very close...

Then she pulls stuff like this and I can only say..."YOU ARE SUCH A DORK!!!"

We took a road trip to east Texas in June while she was down here visiting - we were just looking for great junk shops, boutiques, photo-ops, just whatever. We planned on spending the night so we were in no hurry. It was just a laid back trip in my convertible *with the top down* and Joan at the wheel because **long story**.

Here I am showing you the chapstick in question.
The innocent, wee bitty tube of relief that became the tool that Joan abused even while driving a car...

We're flying along at a speed that could have killed me if Joan wasn't giving the road, the traffic, unseen traps, her full attention...
With the top down, I applied some, admittedly soft from the heat, chapstick and asked Joan if she wanted some.

She did, so I passed it to her without looking at her - I'm busy watching the road...

Finally, she passes it back to me.
I look down to put the cap back on and it looked like someone had chewed on the chapstick!!!

While looking down at the mess I asked her,

"WHAT DID YOU DO, CHEW ON IT???"...

I look over at her and there she is just waiting for me to look...
The chapstick was so soft that when she went to spread it on her lips, it came off in a clump.

Only Joan, okay, maybe me too, would sit there for what had to seem like forever, holding the wad on her lip, just waiting for me to look over at her!

I could not breathe...I was laughing so hard.

What a hoot!

The way it all played out was just perfect...what a dork!

But, oh, it gets worse...

Of course, I have to take the wad and dispose of it because the trash sack is on my side, but after it's on my finger I make the hard decision that that wet, slimy piece of chapstick is NOT going in my really cute trash sack.

So, I flick it out my side of the car and put my right arm back up on the door to get some more sun *remember the top is down*.

A couple of minutes later I look down and see this!!!........

THE CHAPSTICK THAT I HAD FLICKED OUT OF MY SIDE OF THE CAR
IS ON MY ARM!!

"JO-O-O-O-O-O-O-AN!!!!!"

My sister....BFF, amazing cook, professional photographer, teacher of young minds (that has become a scary thought, hasn't it?). . .DORK.

The End.

I want to thank all of my amazing readers for sticking around to meet my sister, Joan. She really is the best, but, I had to share one of the many dorky experiences we have when we're together! PIMP!!

XOXO, Jan

WE HAVE A WINNER!

The good, no wait, the GREAT, news is that we have a winner of the "S-P-R-I-N-G" banner from my June/July blog giveaway!

The sad, oh, so sad, news is that if you haven't received an email
from me telling you that you won, then someone else did:(

I know, I know, I'm sad for you and I'm sad for me (I have to send it away!)

BUT, I'M SO EXCITED FOR TRACY FROM LOVING PRETTY THINGS!!!!

She's the winner and she seems like such a delight! I would like to invite you to visit her blog and see her preciousness - she uses words like "cankles" and "guy liner" - my kind of girl! She has a very cute blog!

The next giveaway is in honor of my 56th on a Psycho day/24th on a Barbie day BIRTHDAY and will be on September 1st or sometime that week. Mark your calendars to check my blog!!

Oh, heck, just make my blog your home page and then you'll not only NOT miss THAT giveaway but all monthly giveaways, priceless art and irreverent humor...
Thank you, everyone, for entering my giveaway and for those of you that signed up to follow my blog. I'm now over "100 followers" so the September giveaway will celebrate not only my birthday but this huge milestone, too! WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO - put on your party dress and get ready to enter another fabulous giveaway!

And, to all lurkers that became commenters - I'm as proud as a mother!

xoxo, Jan

Cath's Pennies blog is having a GREAT giveaway

Head over to Cath's Pennies and enter her fabulous giveaway!
I'm being very generous, telling you about this because I want to win!

MY HUGE BLOG GIVEAWAY

If you're a regular reader of my blog, then you remember that in June I promised two give-aways in July because I just couldn't get it done in June! It was a crazy month!

So, as I've been thinking about what to offer, what two items, I decided that instead it would be a lot of fun to give away ONE REALLY COSTLY ITEM. . .

Meet the SPRING BANNER, retail cost $68.00 (includes presentation and postage).

It measures 36" across *not counting the ribbon for hanging*, each flag is 5" x 8" and, the flags spell out the word "SPRING".

You will love this banner!
It's light and sweet and each flag is a delightful piece of art in it's own right!

There are glittered pastel yellow and green eggs hanging by different trims between each flag. And the ribbon stringing the flags is pale pink satin.

Pay attention to the detail put into each flag including sewing, scalloped edges, etc.

I hope you like my choice.

I absolutely love this banner.

THE DEALINE FOR ENTERING

THE GIVE-AWAY IS

SUNDAY, 10 p.m. CST, AUGUST 2nd.

All I ask that you do to be eligible for this drawing is

1.) leave a comment and be entered ONCE.

2.) if you're not already following my blog, I would love

for you to - if you sign up to follow, let me know that

(and let me know if you're already a follower) and

I'll enter you in the drawing TWICE.

3.) And, last but certainly not least, if you post on your

blog sending your readers over here to enter, let me know

that and I'll enter you THREE times.

You must leave me your blog address so I can visit it.

Gosh, this is so exciting for me! I've never given away anything worth so much nor do I remember ever asking for more than a comment in a give-away (I'm relying on my memory - ouch).

A special shout out to my loyal readers that I can always count on to keep up with me by regularly reading my blog. I think y'all are absolutely the best!

And, a shout out to my lurkers...I know you're reading, just not commenting, because I am able to keep up with my numbers. Y'all are shy, but really important to me!

Today I ask you to consider stepping up and start leaving a comment when you read my blog - it makes me feel very popular. heehee

XOXO, Jan

WE'VE ADOPTED YET ANOTHER ONE...

Yes, it's true, we now have five rescue pets - four dogs and one cat.

Our newest addition to our menagerie is GIGI *called "GI"*, a bichon frische.

And, yes, she's *believe it or not* a "rescue dog".

Here's picture no. 1 of her Preciousness! Is she a doll, or what? Such a sweetie!

Her "parents" are going overseas and can't take her with them so, to make a long story short, which for me is a real stretch, we adopted her through the rescue dog organization I belong to.

She loves to take naps on the ottoman under the window in the sitting area of my bedroom. She and Baxter fight over it.

She's 9 years old, in relatively good health and so, so precious.

She sleeps at the foot of our bed on her pillow with a twin sheet bunched up around her so she can burrow. (Hey, she's not burrowing in my bed)

Her very favorite place to be is attached to my hip, but I draw the line, so she props herself on MY ottoman leaving me about 12 inches for both legs! She'll just curl up there and sleep while I blog. Pretty stinkin' cute.Now that you've met the newest member of our flock and you feel compelled to send money to help with vet bills, grooming bills, flea meds, heart worm pills and dog and cat food, feel free.

And, as usual, I thank my loyal readers for taking the time to read about the latest happenings in my very exciting life! Next post is about the June/July giveaway - check back because it's a BIG one.

xoxo, Jan

WHERE BLOGGERS CREATE - IT'S A PARTY

IT'S A PARTY AND I'M SO GLAD YOU COULD COME!

This is a chance for me, a blogger, to show you where I create.....show you in my own creative way because, seriously, Where Women Create magazine is never going to ask to do a spot on me!

You'll see what I mean in a minute...

When you're finished enjoying my studio, go to Karen's blog and in the right side column you'll be able to pick your next spot to drop in on - everyone has their party dresses on and is waiting for your arrival!

And, be sure and leave a comment that you had been there - makes us all feel special *popular* to know that lots of people came to our party!

Oh, I'm so excited!!! Here everyone comes!

This is why I am being creative in showing you my studio - it looks like a crack house, it's such a mess.

I could have cleaned it all up for you, but then it wouldn't be MY studio. Get it?

This door is the door that goes from my studio into our garage where the "rest" of my studio is stacked!

I have a fabulous pink disco ball hanging from the ceiling in my studio.

THIS is what my studio looks like on any given day.

Thus, the nickname, The Crack House.

Glue on my fingers. . .a common sight!

A row of my wooden stamps...

I have hundreds and hundreds of stamps - lots of wooden and lots of unmounted.

My row of Barbie dresses!

I smile every time I look at them!

I LOVE Barbie!!

A bird caught in a snowstorm...the closest I could get to a snow storm in Texas!

I have this thing for old *and ratty* dolls and doll heads.

I think they're so cool - most people think they're strange and scary!

Cracks me up.

Gesso, molding paste...fun and vitally important items when working with paints!

And, of course, Gorilla glue!

I love to buy big sheets of fabulous papers and I roll them up and store them in this really big glass cylinder.

It looks cool and serves a really important roll in my studio.

*Get it??? "roll" in my studio? That was a joke. LOL*

Paint brushes and bling. Who could want anything more? Heehee

I utilize every space in my studio. . .this vintage lamp shade and bird cage are hanging from my ceiling.

A vintage typewriter, vintage silhouette tray and a couple of vintage dance cards.

Every mixed media artist has lots of vintage papers!

A stack of finished tags just waiting to be uploaded into my Lollishop and Etsy shop.

Oh, would you look at the time???

You best hurry on to your next party!

I'm so, so glad that you took the time to visit my studio and come to my party!

I hope you had a good time - tell me what you thought in your comment!

And, to my faithful, bestest readers in the world, a special THANK YOU for coming!

XOXO, Jan