Friday, August 6, 2010


I'm blessed to the max, but a fairytale??
.......not so much

How do y'all do it??
You make it seem so effortless.
I've come to the conclusion that some of you
might be a wee bit O.C.D.
And the rest of you never sleep.

I feel like Barbie every minute of every hour of every day.
Did you know that I qualify for that Hoarders show on T.V.?
Yeah, I'm a Mixed Media Hoarder.
It's gotten so bad that I haven't completely unpacked from two art retreats....
both held last year and then there's this year's p.c. retreat...
Oh, and estate sales, flea markets, resale shops, junk shops,
people's trash by the side of the road,
crack house apartments being demo'd - I stopped to see
what treasures I could find.
I found a pick-up load. No kidding.
In an effort to keep up with something,
I made a promise to myself - it was about a week ago -
I was going to keep up with my blog roll.
Then I got this great idea that I would "rotate" some blogs
 off to get the number of blogs I read  I'm supposed to be reading
under 200. It didn't work.
I added six new blogs.
Oh, and my blogging??
I think it's so cute that you feel you have to ask.
I'm about 8 or 9 posts behind.
I plan on catching up.
Surely I can find the time.

The rest of you manage to blog, read your blog roll,
scour estate sales, create!, list all of your many creations
in your Etsy shop,
mail out all of the orders you get "the next day",
host swaps, be in five or more swaps at a time,
teach workshops, attend art retreats,
raise your well-behaved children,
cook well-balanced meals for your well-behaved children
and your darling husband,
and I'll bet you clean your own house, too.
AND, you work.
I don't.
Work, that is.
I will admit that I have a couple of medical adventures
that I deal with on a daily basis, but I DON'T WORK....
Where are you finding the time??
I'm beginning to wonder if this isn't a master plan
of *church lady's voice* "Saaa-tan".
I can hear him now, telling his evil little elves,
"Let's drive Jan nuts. I know just how to do it..."
I see you looking at the picture above of my kitchen
and at the picture just below of our bedroom.
These pictures are a few years old.
I've been pretty immobile off and on for the last six years
and I can assure you that the kitchen doesn't look
like the picture above.
The Tank's had free reign and that speaks volumes.

And the bedroom??
Well, both areas had probably just been cleaned
by my cleaning lady when these pictures were snapped.

That cleaning lady was 'let go' yesterday.
Let's just say I didn't vote for Obama
and we use to have money left over
every month for that cleaning lady...
for the last 25 years.

I'll be doing the cleaning from now on.
Well, all except the Tank's bathroom.
I refuse to go into that room.
There's a reason a man should have his own bathroom.

Oh, and one last special little thing I want to
share with you about my life...

I haven't cooked or baked in years.
Mostly because of illnesses, broken bones,
snapped tendons and leg braces, blah, blah, blah.

I told Frank yesterday that I'd start cooking again.
I think my meds need to be adjusted.
So, here it is, sweet friends.
I'll probably re-read this story and realize
that it's completely disjointed
but, heck, I really don't care.
I have dinner to cook.

And, I'm doing the best I can.


Sea Dream Studio said...

Awww... sweetie~ You are fine! I am right there with you! Just do what you can, what floats your boat and make no apologies!
love you~Dale ♥

Robin said...

You just do what you can when you can and that's all there is to it! I have the same thoughts and feelings as you too and I'm, cleaning, what's that???

Lynn Richards said...

Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! Oh, sure....I do all that stuff. And more!!!! not. I do need to cook sometimes, but mostly my prayer is that God would protect me from myself and my confused ideals of what i "should" be doing.....what I would prefer to be doing on a daily basis right now is running away. What I find myself doing is walking around in circles in my house. That's on a good day. How's the airfair to Texas these days????

~La Rustique Market~ said...

You're doing way better than me. Lovely blog with a sense of humor,,,I like that!

Have a great weekend~

Meri Wiley said...

Hey lady,

I'm in the same boat with you and I think we've had a slow leak for many years. I think I sent you my sob story, but if I didn't I can mail out the 5,000 page manuscript tomorrow......after I type it, of course.

I've given up worrying about how my house looks, or how anyone else gets things done.......I know how.....they're healthy and we're not! I've been dealing with my health issues for 35 years and if I haven't figured out that it aint gettin' any better, well then I deserve my mess. We can all get through it with laughter missy, you just ask me and I'll send you some funny stuff or better yet, start reading my girlfriend's blog "" if you want humor. She's today's Erma Bombeck......really go check her out if you haven't already.

Hugs and soft squeezes so there's no pain.......LOL


Shabby Cottage Studio said...

I don't do it either Jan! ;-) I don't "host swaps, be in five or more swaps at a time,teach workshops, attend art retreats,raise your well-behaved children,cook well-balanced meals for well-behaved children and darling husband,and I'll bet you clean your own house, too". I admire those women who can do it but I am not one of them. I simply don't have the energy and it's enough to run my business and try to make some money to help pay the bills and I see the grocery bill getting larger and the food in the cart less, I worry about not having health insurance and how am I going to pay the dentist next week for this tooth I broke this week. I never figured to be this old and be in this position. So I'm with ya girlfriend and I guess we shouldn't worry about how everyone else does it and I try to do as you the say, the best we can and get through one day at a time. I try to keep my sense of humor and I know you have a great sense of humor to.

Shabby Cottage Studio said...

I had to come back and look at your banner, because I am oblivious tonight! LOL We too don't use CC and we don't owe anyone except the mortgage on our house and it is a very reasonable mortgage. Of course we live in a very shabby house. ;-) So I count my blessings even if I sometimes complain about the state of things. And I forgot one more thing... I also did not vote for that man. ;-) hagn in there hun, it's all we can do for now.

Jeanette [Maisy] House said...

lol, this made me laugh! i have about 5 days of my journal challenge to catch up with; bananas melting in the kitchen, begging to be made into the cake i promised i'd bake; 2 baskets of ironing, 2 piles of washing; and a bunch of other stuff... and here i am reading your blog instead, hahaha! when i figure out the solution to being perfect and on time with everything, i promise to share with you. xxx

Linda B said...

We all do what we can. Life happens! You are loved no matter what. Whenever you do get around to posting on your blog, I'm happy to read it. I haven't been a good blogger myself -- so there.

Kathy said...

Oh I have missed you, I so love to read your words and see your photos. Your humor is just the best!

Fanciful Expressions said...

Jan, I'm thinking you're doing just fine. I'll tell you something, if I started cooking and cleaning on any kind of regular basis, my hubby would probably wonder what was going on.

******Shelly****** said...

Jan :)

Hi! Remember me? ;)

I am peeking in to say hi in hopes that when you think of me, you will feel much better. 'Cause GIIIRRRLL!!! You KNOW I can't keep up! lol

But I'm doing the best I can. Well, most of the time.

Saying a prayer for you tonight.


PS...I wanted to add a heart for you like Sea Dream Studio did...but I don't know how. So you get a smiley face instead. Sorry.

Bettyann said...

heheh Oh Jan honey you are sooo I'll come and cook for you...cornbread, pulled pork...bbq salmon...

Tracy Suzanne said...

Hey Jan. You're so funny! I'm right there with you, girl, except you get more done than me. Thanks for giving me a laugh, I really enjoyed reading your post.

Hugs...Tracy :)

just me jan said...

Okay darlin' I just HAVE to comment here...what in BLAZES made you think you were gonna find a "treasure" in a demolished crack house? You've finally lost your mind sweetie! As for the cooking and cleaning thing...GAWD...there is just one rule concerning these two tasks and Southern women: Fragile Flowers of the South don't do either after the age of 50! I knew of a woman in Spring, TX who had her kitchen completely remodeled and turned the brand new stove into a freakin' planter. When her husband asked why there were plants growing in the stove she replied "because I don't cook with herbs, the chef at the restaurant does!" He didn't blink an eyeball when the maids showed up shortly thereafter. While there aren't herbs sproutin' from the burners in my stove, I have followed her lead where the maids are concerned and I do enjoy the freedom from drudgery that restaurants offer up. Your house would be continually tidy if you'd STOP bringing home crappola from the side of the road and that crack house sweetums...better yet, SELL IT, hire a maid and go out for dinner! Sounds like a great plan!
just me...anal retentive to the max and still lovin' you...the other jan

Shelly said...

True Confessions?

I had to weave my way through this office/guestoom because its full of CRA.....err stuff I've bought as of late from G/Estate sales!

I've got Dishes in the sink from what I DID cook and (no dishwasher in this old house).

Why do you think I thought of hosting a Hoarders and Bad Crafts event? If the shoe fits!

Agreed. Do WHAT you can, as much as you like and LAUGH about the rest!

Hint for you???? I've got a friend that parks her vacuumn cleaner in her livingroom at ALL times....Then if someone drops by unexpectedly, she just tells them..."Oh, I was just getting READY to vacuumn!" HA!

Have a great day and don't sweat the small stuff! I had to let my cleaning lady go too.....Pay no attention to the HAIRball behind the door on your way out!

Hugs and Love,

Dorene Elizabeth said...

Oh Jan,

I'm rolling on the floor laughing. The post and comments went straight to my heart. I too have medical issues and wished I could do, have, and be more. But it is what it is. I'm afraid if you sell that stuff I would have to buy it. I'm sure it's really good stuff! God help me!
You are a delight to know! And so very very creative!


Do what you love and what makes you happy. Don't worry about what others are doing; I don't.


Debby said...

There's my silly, fun girl!!! You nailed it, that is just it, can't keep up, with work, cleaning, mowing, laundry, you know all the fun stuff!!!!!!!!! I had to quit blogging for most of the summer so I could get all the crap accomplished that needed to be done. Hope you are feeling well..

Romeo said...

I have just found your blog and am in love! I can sooooo relate to this post and am laughing right along with you. And WHERE DO THEY find all that time?!?! I would sure like to know as well! No sleeping is surely the answer.....isn't it?!? Well I certainly don't feel so alone now!

I will most certainly return....I know I'll be in good company ;)

"Her" and Romeo (who ALWAYS seems to have lots of time)

Julie Ann said...

OK! When I come, we are going to have to try to make something!!! LOL!!!! This will be one for the scrapbook!! Only... 41 more days!!!!!!! :D

Cindy said...

Jan, you sure had me smiling and laughing the whole way through your post! And then reading the comments left here was just as fun. I'm with you (although I DO bake), I have not had time for it all either and I don't participate in swaps or have time to list anything on Etsy....and the house? A mess. We have a lot in common. :-)

Maura said...

At least you have returned to the fold...... Missed you bunches.... and my oh my what a blog make-over. Like it! XOXOX

Angela Rae said...

Jan, I love you! If I were brave enough, I would take pictures of my house, in the state it's in, and show the world... while you've been wrestling with physical issues, and not cleaning and not cooking, I've been in college, full-time, and not cleaning and not cooking, either... so I am really feeling like we are kindred spirits right now, more than ever!!! And I don't even have a J.O.B. (yet)... hey I just graduated 2 weeks ago and took and passed the Registry (the hardest test I've ever taken in my entire LIFE, and got a 90% on that sucker)... so I've been lazing around the house, mostly watching tv (haven't watched tv in 2 years) and looking leisurely at magazines and surfing the net... and trying not to beat myself up over the state of my house or life... I just accomplished a huge life accomplishment and you have too! I love you girl!!! I wish I could give you a big hug right now!!!!!! Take care! Angela

Angela Rae said...

PS. I didn't vote for that man either, and trust me, it's pretty depressing to go back to college at the age of 41 (started taking electives 5 years ago and then got into the program full-time, 2 years ago) and get out of college at the ripe old age of (almost) 46 and not a job in sight. Thank you Mr. President. Do I sound bitter? You bet.... but I'm going to do the best I can with what I've got... Hugs! Angela

Angela Rae said...

PPSS. And I don't call it "CRAP" or "STUFF"... I call it "OPPORTUNITIES"!!!!!!!


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