Thursday, October 22, 2009

ONE SMALL DOG + 7 OZ. CHOCOLATE =

Y'all remember when your kiddos would throw up wienies and red Kool-aid? It's happened to all parents. Well, I'm going to change it up a little bit. I'm blogging this mostly to pound out my frustration on the keyboard and to share a fascinating afternoon in my life, with you. . . . .my readers. You want to know the good and the bad, don't you???

Okey dokey!
Well.
This afternoon has been oh. . .so. . .pleasant.
Remember GiGi, the Bichon that we rescued the first of September? The dog that cost us $1,000.00 (emergency surgery) the first week we had her because we were "taken" by the previous owners?

The dog that has gone on to cost us a bundle because of vet visits, a steroid shot, followed a month later by prednisone pills, all because of a skin condition that she came to us with, oh, and let's not forget the when said dog, G., is on the pred pills that she can't control her bladder......I'll spare you the details.

But it's all good. She is getting, and has gotten, the medical attention that she needed and continues to need and we adore her.
Well, "we" adored her until this afternoon. . . . .

Picture, if you will......go with me in your mind's eye to my studio......

It all started with me walking through my studio to the garage to snag a diet cherry Dr. P. from the fridge out there. As I approached the studio I could see that someone, excuse me, some DOG, said dog being G., had completely destroyed a really sturdy sack that was full of gifts that I received at the Paper Whimsy retreat I went to last month. She had gone through each item in the sack to get to the bottom where there were two 3.5 oz. specialty bars of milk chocolate that I had bought as gifts.

Now, I realize that at this point I should be showing you pictures of the mess in the studio, the chewed up chocolate bar cardboard sleeves, a picture of me on the computer looking up, "small dog eats chocolate", me calling the vet's, so many photo ops. But, I couldn't/can't be bothered right now - I'm too busy pounding the keys on my laptop getting my frustrations out!

In an effort to remove myself from the situation I am going to tell the entire story in bullet form and in third person. . . . .
  • small 15# dog eats 7 ounces of specialty milk chocolate
  • upon discovery and being anal retentive, owner cleans up mess first, after scolding said small dog
  • owner researches symptoms of "a small dog eating lots of chocolate" on the Internet
  • calls vet immediately after finding out that it can be oh, so dangerous
  • vet tech tells owner to get said small dog to drink Hydrogen Peroxide and then bring her to the clinic
  • owner asks vet tech, "What??! Put it in a bowl and say, 'Here, G., drink this! It's good!'?"
  • owner gets H.P. down said dog with a turkey baster that will make some garbage man's wife a nice stocking stuffer
  • vet tech did not advise owner that it could take several minutes for the H.P. to work
  • "work" meaning "make said dog throw up the chocolate"
  • in a rush to get to the clinic, owner covers the bucket seat on the passenger side of owner's most loved convertible to protect the leather seat if said dog needs to spit up
  • owner puts said dog on the towel on the seat in the beloved car and tells her not to spit up
  • just before owner is able to start beloved car, owner's cell rings
  • the vet is on the phone and starts asking questions about the incident
  • at that moment, said dog has turned into the exorcist and is spewing chocolate vomit all over said beloved convertible as the vet yaps on
  • not meaning to be rude but fearing that said dog's head may start turning a 360, owner yells at vet that owner will call back as owner throws down the phone
  • there is vomit everywhere it could possibly be in a small, enclosed area.
  • working quickly and throwing up in the back of owner's throat during the entire ordeal, owner gets beloved car cleaned up and kills said dog
  • oh, alright, owner didn't kill said dog, owner called the vet back
  • "She threw up that much, huh? Well, I really don't think you need to bring her in. Sounds like she's gotten most of it out. Watch for more vomiting, and, oh, she may have some diarrhea tonight."
  • "Thank you. Thank you so much."

24 comments:

Itch2stitch.com said...

Oh dear! Naughty little dog. My dog Ralph will eat anything if he gets his nose to it! Whole packet of choc biscuits, complete with wrapper! My Lymphodeoma sleeve, which is long, it goes from my knuckles to my armpit! Swallowed the lot. Its awful wondering how its going to come out. Thankfully it did come out...sickwise! Better out than in though eh? hope you and doggie are ok! suzie xxx

Bettyann said...

omg I'm sorry but i laughed so much I think I peed my pants...now don't yell at me I might cry lololol...

Cindy (JunqueArt) said...

oh my goodness, i'm laughing only because I have 2 labs that will eat ANYTHING. I feel for you and I hope G is ok.

Molly Alexander said...

OK...this could possibly be one of the funniest posts I have ever read! When our 'miniature' (in quotes because he is anything but miniature) dauschaund (or might I say 'garbage disposal'?)ate my son's entire 12" long chocolate Easter bunny - wrapper & all - a few years ago, I just put him out in the back yard & hoped for the best...you are a MUCH better doggie owner than I am...

:-) Molly

(he is just fine, by the way...)

Mad Red Hare said...

Oh boy! Sounds like the past couple of weeks around here. I haven't even had enough time to blog about our woes! Glad the pupper is doing fine now. As irritated as we get with them, we love them still!

CEDAR JUNCTION said...

Poor Jan. Seems like you've had a very "eventful" day.

I hope tomorrow goes much smoother.

Teresa

Debra @ Common Ground said...

Well, Jan that just shows you that we are supposed to eat the chocolate, yes, we eat all the yummy chocolate right up, so all the little doggies and kitties or husbands don't have a chance at it. You'll learn... of course after cleaning up said chocolate vomit, you may not have a hankerin' for it for a while! LOL
Debra

Artistic Accents by Darla said...

Wow, what a day! You told the story great though :)
Oh, what we do for our lovely fur kids!
Darla

Sweetina said...

Your story made my morning!
I did almost pee just like Bettyann!
I know I spat out a mouthful of coffee laughing...thank good ness I wasnt in the backseat of your convertible too!
Silly Dog...bet she'll never eat chocolate again!
Bet the car smells delightful!
Hope she skipped the scoots..and your carpeting is still poop free!
Tinaxox

Robin said...

Bwahahahahahaaaa!! That's what you get for calling me a BRAT!!!!

Seriously--I am sorry sweet G was naughty. Poor thing. I would have loved being there watching you put HP down her throat with a turkey baster. But really I probably would have been looking up my good friend Baxter and learning the ropes of how to play dead in the driveway really well. Hell, I might have even taken notes for a Baxter costume for Halloween. Teeth and all.

Oh, sorry. I would have patted your back, throw up and all. And I would have totally laughed my ass off. Cause I could. And then I would have run realllly fast so you couldn't catch me.

The end.

Suzie Button said...

OMG Jan! I had my hand over my mouth while reading this, laughing and feeling horror for you at the same time! And I thought my puppy Ollie was the only dog to not have any control, that dog eats ANYTHING he can find! I've watched him sit in my craft/office and turn his head around from the ceiling down to the floor looking for something to get hold of to rip apart. I wake up to paper ripping sounds in the morning as he rips anything from magazines to paper out of metal dry cleaner hangers! Bless you for your love of dogs! They're worth it! (most days!) Suzie

Lynn Richards said...

Oh, friend, you win!!! That beats being seatbelted on to the toilet for colonoscopy prep ANY day!!!!!
My mom had a springer spaniel that ate an entire pound box of See's buttercreams, and left every single little brown wrapper in the box. My mom was so mad, she never even gave a second thought to calling the vet!!
Good thing G is so darn cute!!
lynn

Julie Ann said...

Oh, no!!! What a naughty naughty puppy and a naughty vet tech for not warning you!!

LiLi M. said...

Aaah you always crack me up! Do you think it's possible that that very same doggie made it impossible for me to respond to this post when you published it? I just couldn't get through!!

Hope all is well with you, I am not so sure of that little rascal!

jeanne said...

Surprise! it's me, Jeanne, your long lost blogger friend. I have had company from the 1st of Oct. until tomorrow when the second batch goes home. LOL. No time for me or the computer. I have managed to post but visiting is another matter.

All I can say is... you poor thing. I must say your dog experience is quite disabling mentally and physically!!! My gosh Jan, how horrid, I forgot to say financially too.

Believe it or not we had an experience that mimics yours so much. Our poodle was very sick and a couple of thousand dollars later we finally had a healthy dog. Now the chocolate was chocolate covered cherries in my mother-in-laws open suitcase. The vomit was cherry red all over our carpet in several rooms. We did know she even got into the stuff. Carpet experts were called.

I hope your day is a happy one.

Love ya, Jeanne

Suze said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jen said...

Oh I'm so glad to hear that others have these experiences! I feel your pain! Once when the kids were 2 & 3 I had easter candy in my walk-in closet 2 paper grocery sacks FULL. Our mini dachshund ate ALL of it then proceeded to throw it all up in my closet before I got home. Oh I have more dog stories~ you'd think I'd learn but I married Dr. Doolittle! he's not a vet but an animals whisperer... Haha~ have a great day! And thanks for the laugh!

Lynne Laura said...

Hi Jan,

So happy that you adopted that little precious dog but feel for you in all that you have gone through with her.

Kindredly, Lynne Laura

Riki Schumacher said...

I am dying from laughing, okay, I'm crying I'm laughing so hard! What a great story. Hope the dog and the car are doing well!! I have a Yorkie, luckily hates chocolate!

Beth Bricker said...

OMGosh I laughed so hard at your bullet presentation! I have soooo
"been there,done that" on this. My lovely little cocker ate semi sweet chocolate chips(out of son's backpack)and we had chocolate syrup all over the house and she was very lethargic for days. Hmmmm, then there was the Starfish incident.For a while I had poison control on speed dial, and yes they do get calls about pets.

Vintage Blue Studio said...

I've been in a similiar position before with a certain small dog from my past. At least in the long run, once the mess is cleaned up and the tiny fuzzy is ok we can forgive them for their foolishness...and mess.

Robin said...

Your window for Tina is just fabulous Jan! Thanks again for collecting and putting this all together!!

Bettyann said...

Jan, I went to Tina's blog and saw the tag window..love it..so much love in it..thanks for you..take care..

Diane said...

I WAS eating a piece of chocolate when I stared reading this!!!

Glad it all turned out for your little dog.....and you.....and your car.

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