I have been blown away by the response to my blog post this past Saturday where I simply sat here and told you how I was feeling. . . . .it wasn't a pity party - far from it - it was just a post that I knew I had to write about my sweet Ben. I had to talk about it.
And, of course, there's a give-away mentioned in the post to help shove me (mentally) back into my happy, joyfilled and blessed life. Giving gifts and writing notes of encouragement are two things that I love to do so having a giveaway to balance a really hard March and a horribly sad weekend made total sense to me.
I checked my email on Sunday and there were a few comment email notices for that particular post. They were wonderful and I felt the care and concern.
Then at 3:00 p.m. we had to do something that I didn't expect to have to do until today or tomorrow.....Saturday night after I wrote my blog post, I went to bed and woke in the morning to a very sick Ben. He had gone downhill very quickly Saturday night and we knew that we couldn't wait any longer. I had said in my blog post that "early this week" we would have to say good-bye to our sweet Ben - I wasn't ready to endure it on Sunday. No way, no how, it was too soon, I wasn't ready!!
But, I took some deep breaths, prayed, put on my big girl panties and dealt with it.
I sat with Ben, rubbed his head and told him how much he was loved, how much he would be missed, how sorry I was that he was so sick and how sorry I was that he was suffering and how it was the hardest thing to do but, that I hoped he understood it was a gift..
A small part of me died Sunday
when I had to tell him good-bye.
when I had to tell him good-bye.
But, enough sadness.
Let me tell you something.
I feel just as strongly about writing this blog post as I did writing my blog post on Saturday.
So. After numerous deep breaths, a swipe of my nose (no kleenex and I can't be bothered to wheel myself into the b.r. to snag some t.p.), I came back to my computer early evening on Sunday to check my email.
Finally, we reach the point of this post.
(I do tend to give a lot of information, but I want you to feel like you're sitting right next to me and I'm telling you all of this verbally. Does that make sense to anyone *besides me*? No??)
When I checked my email Sunday evening and then again on Monday and yet again today,
I have been so touched by the support y'all have showered on me. And, how you have wrapped your arms around me, how you've reminded me that God blessed me and my family with Ben for many years. So many comments that I can't recall at this moment what they all said and I still have at least 40 to read.
I must read them slowly and respond with a message of my own, so it's taking a bit to work to get through all of them.(*which is a wonderful thing, btw*)
I am so, so blessed by y'all. I know I've said it before, but, I think it's worth repeating. . . . .some of you I've never met face to face but I feel like we live down the street from each other and we're such good friends! We get together in each other's studio to play "art", we go junking, we go to estate sales, Anne:), we go out to lunch, we take road trips, we go to art retreats together, oh, we just have a marvelous time! *deep sigh*
I can't thank you enough for the outpouring of love and concern that I have felt from each of you - even a couple of lurkers:). The stories of your own pets and the last days of their lives, of how their deaths impacted you, and simple comments telling me that I'm being prayed for, that I'm loved.
Wow. So you can imagine how I felt this afternoon when the Fed Ex truck drove up.
Well, at first I didn't feel anything because the Tank gets lots of Fed Ex envelopes and I didn't pay any attention knowing it wasn't for me.
My mother, however, went out because Mr. Ex rang the doorbell. She walks back in the bedroom carrying this long box but I'm in the middle of answering a post comment and just glance up.
Boy, howdy, I was focused (it's an age thing) because it was pretty obvious what was in the box.
Flowers for the Tank?? Maybe. Flowers for me?? More likely than for the Tank.......and the box WAS for me. Oh, my gosh, someone sent me flowers. I couldn't imagine who would send me flowers. . .I had surgery, but that was 1 1/2 weeks ago......hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. So, I open the box (after checking for a return address on the box - no clue, none).
Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Oh, my goodness. . . . .tulips.
Tulips!! Oh, my gosh. . . .
Tulips.
Tulips for me?
Yes, tulips for me.
Tulips that bloom in April.
Telling me that April will be better.
Don't loose your joy, not for a moment.
Wait. There's more??
Candy??
The last day and a half of March are lookin' up.
So, let's look at the card and see who has blessed me.
Who has sent me April tulips and March chocolates??
It wasn't funny so you shouldn't be laughing.
"Love, Me"??
My first thought was how in the world was I going to thank whomever sent these gorgeous April tulips and March chocolates to me??? I wouldn't be able to rest until I found out who to thank!
I called ProFlowers and asked real nice for Mr. Pro to tell me who sent them and he told me they have this stupid privacy oath. Sounded more like the Mason's to me.
He told me he could call the sender and see if he could get permission to tell me.
Okay, fine, just don't mess with me, I don't have that many chocolates.
He didn't mess with me, he told me who sent them.
I told him that "she" would have been very high on my list of possibilities.
I said it while I was smiling. Big.
Julie Ann Grakowsky of Kitchen Floor Creations,
my past blog "lurker", my present day dear friend that I met through my blog.
I simply adore her.
She is precious to me.
And she blessed me today in a way that is rare.
She reached out for my hand and touched my heart.
If you have managed to stick with me to this point, you deserve one million dollars.
I don't have one million dollars, but I've got lots of hugs for you when we see each other!
XOXO,
Jan
If you have never visited Julie Ann's blog, oh, you just have to!! You won't be disappointed! She
has a wonderful blog and you'll enjoy yourself!!
