YOU'RE INVITED TO THE REHEARSAL DINNER. . .

***Once again I am unable to upload all of the photos that I have taken, cropped and 'fixed' in my software program, uploaded to Flickr for protection, and am ready to post on my blog with, of course, my running (on and on and on...) commentary of the event at hand.
WHY?? Because ever since blogger changed their "it worked perfectly" photo uploader, it turns 'only some of' my photos sideways and causes old people (me) to be reduced to tears simply because I want to share with you something important in my life.
Shame on blogger.***

So, you are cordially invited to share in Craig and Jana's rehearsal dinner (and see how I spent all of those wondrous hours in my studio after so many, many months away) through the photos that you will find in my photostream on Flickr.

And, following the rehearsal dinner, won't you please stay for the wedding and reception?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/polkadotbarn/

(remember that you can click on any photo to enlarge it and see the details)

As a side note, I want to tell you that I LOVE my daughter(in law). Yes, she's my DIL, but I like to think of her as my new daughter.
She loves Craig so much, that is very evident.
Craig loves her so much, you can see it in the way he looks at her.
And, after getting to know her I have found myself "in love" with her. I see us having a lot of fun in the years to come!

Please help me welcome Jana into our family by viewing the pictures that I took of the weekend and come back here and leave a comment - I would love for you to welcome her to our family with your comments.

Blessings to you all and I apologize that you have to jump through hoops to see the photos of the weekend.
I will miss telling you about everything, but until blogger fixes what wasn't broken, I have no recourse.
Even T.P.'ing Mr. Blogger's yard has had NO impact on this issue. I don't know what I'll do next - I'm leaning towards dog poop in a bag on the front porch, set on fire, ringing and running.

Have a blessed day,
         Jan

http://www.flickr.com/photos/polkadotbarn/



POOR BAXTER

I was pulling up this particular post for a friend of mine tonight and before I sent it to her I re-read it for like the hundreth time and found myself still laughing as I finished it.
I've re-posted this once before but it's been a long time ago so, knowing we could all use a laugh right now, I'm re-posting it again.
Enjoy yourself and pee before you start reading...just sayin'.

*disclaimer: this story is a lot like the short stories I used to write in the past......a bit of sick humor........if you have a love of animals that is so strong that it would not allow you to see the humor in a story entitled "Poor Baxter" knowing that Baxter is a family pet, a dog, then don't read this.

If however you can appreciate me laughing until my stomach hurt and I couldn't breathe, read on and enjoy yourself......



*do not look at the pictures yet.....first read this:*

 POOR BAXTER


We own a dog named Baxter. He was found running around the Office Max parking lot in Kerrville in the middle of the summer about three years ago and a friend picked him up because he had no collar, no tags, and it was over 100 degrees. To make a long story short we ended up adopting the little dog.
 This was Frank the Tank's idea, not mine.

Baxter didn't seem quite right and I couldn't get past the fact the he never closed his mouth and his tongue was about 1/2" too long so you could always see it.


Oh, and he had an underbite.


He looked ridiculous.........he had these Fruit Bat-like ears, too, and he walked like an armadillo (really slow and rocking-like) - he was a goober.


I let Frank keep the little mutt but I got to name him. Thus, his name "Baxter" *from Anchorman*.


This afternoon I was working in my studio and a friend stopped by - Amanda Jones. After we finished visiting and she was fixing to walk out the door to the driveway she looked out the window in the door and said to me *as she giggled*,


"Baxter looks dead!"




NOW YOU MAY LOOK AT THE PHOTOS BELOW

I looked out the window and sure enough, Baxter was dead.

You can see by where the truck is parked that Frank evidently hit him when he pulled in to park going his usual 110 miles per hour.

Oh, my gosh, Baxter was dead.

Oh, wait.


No he wasn't.


That's just the way he looks when he sleeps because his mouth never closes, his tongue always sticks out and his underbite shows.


It's quite confusing to visitors, but Baxter was simply napping.

The visual, however, was enough to send Amanda and myself into a fit of giggles.


I couldn't breathe.


And I was using stomach muscles that only get used when I laugh like that - um, at least once a day!


Oh, my gosh. We were dyin' here.
 Why, we must share this reason for laughter; what with Hillary and Obama duking it out for the presidency we are always looking for reasons to laugh.......what could we do?

Oh, I know what we could do.


We could make Frank think he had run over Baxter and killed him.


(Oh, stop it. It was funny.)

The problem was that Amanda wouldn't run into the living room where Frank was, yelling, "Frank, Frank, you ran over Baxter and he's dead!!"


Well, I couldn't do it, I'm married to the man.

What could we do????


Oh, I know.


We could prank the boys!


Craig's home for the weekend and he and Clay were both home.............


I knew I could handle this because I wouldn't have to look in their faces as I pranked them - I could just yell through Clay's bathroom at them.


And that's what I did.


"Craig, Blake, Craig, Clay. HURRY!! Baxter's dead!! He's been run over!!!"


Craig comes running.


Amanda and I have taken up our "backs to the room" pose at the door hoping that he would think our shoulders were shaking because we were sobbing....


Craig is followed by my mother who is followed by Clay who is followed by Frank.


They all realize that it's a joke after Baxter raises his head and looks at all of us crowded around the window.

"BAXTER! PLAY DEAD!!"


We're all laughing.


Oh, okay, my mother wasn't laughing but I know she thought it was funny because she had a wee bitty grin on her face.


We're all looking out the window at Baxter who is sitting there with his mouth open, his underbite glistening in the sun and his tongue showing about 1/2" too much and we're dying.




In the middle of our laughing Frank says, "Let's shoot him. Make sure he's dead."


We were on the floor.




The End - tell me you laughed.

I love you!! Jan

THE RANCH AT SUNSET - HEAVEN

When you haven't posted since August and it's November did you know that some people will email you to see if you're alright? Isn't that the sweetest thing?
And, in answer to that question, am I alright, physically - no, mentally - of course.
I'm working as hard and as much as I can on the rehearsal dinner things for my son's upcoming wedding and a wedding thing for Jana, the bride:). It's a chore since I am not okay physically at the moment but it is bringing me much joy as I am back in my studio and it has lost some of it's crack house aura. I'll post about that later.

Today I was going to quickly throw these photos up of the ranch and get back to work on the wedding, BUT, the new uploader of photos for blogger is stupid and it's turning my pictures sideways. (Anyone out there know Mr. Blogspot and could you call him?)

However, in this instance it's going to save me a lot of time because the pictures are already on flickr COMPLETE WITH descriptions so I'm just going to send you over there.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/polkadotbarn/  But, read this next part first for it's important to set the mood...

.............I was driving up the lane about 6:30 p.m. yesterday and I glanced to my left and saw the black cows in the pasture of really green grass with the sun fixin to set. It was so, so pretty.
I sped up to the house, jumped out of my car (okay, I didn't jump), ran (ALRIGHT, I walked) and got my camera, jumped (did I say, "jumped" again??) on the four wheeler and raced (I did "race" - I love driving it fast:) to the front pasture to take pictures. Then I meandered closer to the house to take more pictures and to the barns and down the lane. It was fun.

For protection, the photos are stored in flickr and in this case, you can just hop over there and see them with their descriptions and just pretend that you're still here on my post.
Cool, huh.
Oh, and click on the pictures and they'll get bigger by magic. On some there's explanations and arrows. It's just who I am.

I've missed this.
Blogging.
Hope Mr. Blogspot fixes his uploader soon. It's very frustrating and kinda ticked me off for a minute or ten.

I hope y'all have a delightful evening and.........................
if you're reading this on Tuesday......................................

DON'T FORGET TO VOTE REPUBLICAN! (did I say, "REPUBLICAN"??)

LOVE YOU!! JAN

http://www.flickr.com/photos/polkadotbarn/

I SIMPLY MUST STOP WHAT I'M DOING, JUST FOR A MINUTE...

Okay, y'all saw my crack house in the last post.

I'm trying to make it into a studio again - alone -

though my "little girl", Skyler, helped me last Saturday.

No one else has been knocking on my door...
(that was a HUGE hint).

Anyway, I must stop what I'm doing to share with you
 a gift I received in the mail today.

Now, I'm about 8 posts behind and have
my eldest son's Valentine's candy to mail,

an "I hope you're feeling better" box

that should have been mailed to my friend,
Molly Alexander, about 8 months ago

and a giveaway + many extras for her patience,

to the winner of that giveaway that probably thinks

 the Tank went ahead and put me in the home
 if she read my last post.

.

BUT, all of that waits while I show you
 this most wonderful gift I received.

My friend, Jan Armentrout, ordered a nest for me

made by the amazingly talented (I could go on and on)
Victoria Boster.

She had sent me to her website to look at these nests
and when I did, I swooned.

So, what does my most gracious friend, 'the other Jan' do??

She orders me one.
I simply must show you pictures of it.

Now, if you have trouble understanding
what it looks like because my photos are, well, lacking,

you can go to Vicki's blog and see pictures.

She makes a lot of these and

sometimes when you order one
you have to wait MONTHS to get it -

that's how good she is,

how amazing the nests are,

and how much demand there is for them.

(I really think Where Women Create should do an article
on her studio - can someone pass that on??)

Okey dokey, I've got to get back to the crack house,

so here are the pictures that don't do the nest's beauty justice...
one side of the nest

another side of the nest - really, go look at them on Vicki's blog

I really love this side of the nest-it has some twigs w/ white glittery 'flowers'

Okay, now you're going to be totally confused-

this is the center of the nest.

You know, where the bird sits?

The sides of the nest are built up to surround the center

just like in real life.

Now I must get back to the studio crack house.

I will start posting all of those old posts on my next break.

One more little thing,

You know what?

I have found that my artist friends make the best friends.

Thanks again, Jan, I love my nest!

Until later,

thanks for reading,

      Jan

"MY NAME IS JAN AND I'M A HOARDER"

My sweet and precious fellow hoarder, Shell, of Bungalow Bling, is hosting this Hoarder's Event.

There's a second part to this party (party??) for

Crafts Gone Bad.

Yeppers, she covered just about everything.

She and I are recent blog buddies.

She's the sweetest thing and we hit it off right away.

Though a bit skeptical at first,

I believe she was sincere when she told me that,

no, this event was not created to mortify me

in front of my fellow bloggers and dear friends.

*Anyone know different??*

So, it is with a wee bit of trepidation that I show you the photos of my studio, aka "the crack house".

Won't it be nice to finally understand why I would nickname my studio "the crack house"??

The photos tell the story.

I just have to tell you first that none of this is any of my fault.

The main area of my work space where I work.

This is to the right of my work area. I try really hard to keep things

out of the front of my sewing machine so I'll actually use it.

 Darlene on the floor. Horrors.

And, she's under foot. My foot; feet.
Right where my chair is

supposed to slide under the table.

Dar' thinks she's pretty hot and can land where ever.

Ahhh, yes, everyone needs an orderly jewelry making area.

See the stamps?? I have about 750 more.

NO, I'm not kidding.

Look at the good use I make of my second work table.

Makes you wanna come and take a class doesn't it?

The Sizzix area on the left and the soldering station on the right.

It's great to have all this room to spread out.

The corner to the left of the second work table.

The paper??

Oh, it's okay, don't feel sorry for me.

I have at least 700 more sheets of printed paper 

and I'd guess about 150 pieces of card stock.

I have a bit of a weakness for Paper Whimsy collage sheets.

I have hundreds of them and her newer digi sheets.

The overflow into the "workroom" of our house.

I like tall paper and messes a lot.

I have tons of the best fabric and lace.

You're seeing about a third of my stash.

OMG, this is so cool.

So I was at this estate sale and I bought a king size

chenille bedspread for 25.00 - a steal in itself.

I cut all of the really large poms off of the edges

and I still have all of that fabulous chenille fabric.

I adore trims.

One could say I collect it,

but that would be snippy.

And though I have a really lot of trims,

it's the fancy, elegant ones that I treasure the most.

If I was sitting at my work table and looked to my right,

this is what I would see.

Oh, hush. I'm talking about Baxter,

dumbest dog on the planet.

If you came for a visit tomorrow

when you walked through the door into my studio

and looked to your right, this is what would greet you....

an amazing dressmaker form that I just bought at a flea market.

If I'm busy or sick and can't work

I make piles.

Lots and lots of piles.

Walking into the studio from the garage

you would look to your left and see treasures.

Bottles.

I've been sick and haven't been able to work.

I'm doing so much better now that

I'm going to get these bottles

and the rest in another big box,

all fixed up so beautifully that you're going to

buy at least two.

That's what I told the Tank would happen.

Blah, blah, blah....but look at those vintage clocks.

The rest of them are scattered throughout the house.

I love, love, love collections of vintage clocks.

More crap.

Oh, come on!

 It's crap.

I'm way past the "stuff" phase.

I have three isles in the studio.

This is the one that runs in front of the built-ins.

We haven't been using this isle; just Maytag.

I still buy Scrabble games at garage sales for the pieces.

I want more.

The neatly stacked ribbon is a lie.

The rest of my ribbon is.....here somewhere.....

Oh, yeah, my sister reminded me that I have

boxes full of ribbon in the built-ins. *sigh*

After being forced to photograph and validate my hoarding

I have come up with some wonderful ideas how to

make groupings of supplies that you haven't even seen

and vintage pieces for you to purchase in my Etsy shop.

Except, I am going to have to give some real thought

about sharing my vintage jewelry.

I'm just sayin'.

We're working our way up to the best vintage jewelry box;

my favorite pieces.

My best vintage rhinestone pieces...

They're even more spectacular in person

and I love each one of them

as much as I love my children.

Oh, good grief, wipe that look of horror off of your face.

I'm just sorta kidding.

Mmmmm, pearl wanna bee's and vintage pearls

living in harmony in the crack house.

The garage takes care of the overflow.

Keep scrolling.

Oops. Turn your computer or your head sideways

to check out this pile.

Junking, the art of it, is what drives me.

......and drives me.

Oh, for heaven's sake!

I am exhausted after taking all of these pictures

and I have to admit that you really haven't gotten a realistic

look at the Crack House.

I have much more that I'm too worn out to share with you....

my creepy baby doll head collection, all of my trims, vintage flowers,

millinery pieces, ephemera, embellishments;

oh, the stacks of boxes full of my jewelry makings

............I'm sure I know there's more.

So, here's what I'm going to do.

In between helping my son set up his classroom for his first teaching job,

and helping Brat set up hers,

and Craig's wedding *rehearsal dinner* invitations, place cards, center pieces

and gifts I'm making for everyone that attends,

and spending two days at the Round Top Antique show,

and out of town company,

I'm going to get organized, take pictures of all that will be listed in my Etsy shop,

get it listed *gagging*

and I'll post pictures of that process and show you what a

decent Crack House should look like.

Thanks for taking the time to visit my blog!

I appreciate my readers so much - please let me know you were here

by leaving a comment (don't be mean).

XXXOOO, Jan

Baxter - spook

I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN

I'm blessed to the max, but a fairytale??

.......not so much

How do y'all do it??

You make it seem so effortless.

I've come to the conclusion that some of you

might be a wee bit O.C.D.

And the rest of you never sleep.

Me??

I feel like Barbie every minute of every hour of every day.

Did you know that I qualify for that Hoarders show on T.V.?

Yeah, I'm a Mixed Media Hoarder.

It's gotten so bad that I haven't completely unpacked from two art retreats....

both held last year and then there's this year's p.c. retreat...

Oh, and estate sales, flea markets, resale shops, junk shops,

people's trash by the side of the road,

crack house apartments being demo'd - I stopped to see

what treasures I could find.

I found a pick-up load. No kidding.

In an effort to keep up with something,

I made a promise to myself - it was about a week ago -

I was going to keep up with my blog roll.

Then I got this great idea that I would "rotate" some blogs

 off to get the number of blogs I read  I'm supposed to be reading

under 200. It didn't work.

I added six new blogs.

Oh, and my blogging??

I think it's so cute that you feel you have to ask.

I'm about 8 or 9 posts behind.

I plan on catching up.

Surely I can find the time.

The rest of you manage to blog, read your blog roll,

scour estate sales, create!, list all of your many creations

in your Etsy shop,

mail out all of the orders you get "the next day",

host swaps, be in five or more swaps at a time,

teach workshops, attend art retreats,

raise your well-behaved children,

cook well-balanced meals for your well-behaved children

and your darling husband,

and I'll bet you clean your own house, too.

AND, you work.

YOU WORK!...

I don't.

Work, that is.

I will admit that I have a couple of medical adventures

that I deal with on a daily basis, but I DON'T WORK....

Where are you finding the time??

I'm beginning to wonder if this isn't a master plan

of *church lady's voice* "Saaa-tan".

I can hear him now, telling his evil little elves,

"Let's drive Jan nuts. I know just how to do it..."

I see you looking at the picture above of my kitchen

and at the picture just below of our bedroom.

These pictures are a few years old.

I've been pretty immobile off and on for the last six years

and I can assure you that the kitchen doesn't look

like the picture above.

The Tank's had free reign and that speaks volumes.

And the bedroom??

Well, both areas had probably just been cleaned

by my cleaning lady when these pictures were snapped.

That cleaning lady was 'let go' yesterday.

Let's just say I didn't vote for Obama

and we use to have money left over

every month for that cleaning lady...

for the last 25 years.

I'll be doing the cleaning from now on.

Well, all except the Tank's bathroom.

I refuse to go into that room.

There's a reason a man should have his own bathroom.

Oh, and one last special little thing I want to

share with you about my life...

I haven't cooked or baked in years.

Mostly because of illnesses, broken bones,

snapped tendons and leg braces, blah, blah, blah.

I told Frank yesterday that I'd start cooking again.

Yeah.

I think my meds need to be adjusted.

So, here it is, sweet friends.

I'll probably re-read this story and realize

that it's completely disjointed

but, heck, I really don't care.

I have dinner to cook.

And, I'm doing the best I can.