THE END

Mom as a child. She's holding onto the

necklace around her neck.

As I begin to pen this chapter of my mom's life, 

I haven't even looked back to see where I had left off

in the telling of her story.

I've put off writing this last part of her story for months.

For a bit I didn't feel comfortable talking about it.

It was too fresh, too new, and too hard for me to wrap

myself around to write this last chapter.

Then I spent literally months trying to come up

with the right title for this post. 

It had to be the perfect title.

As you can see, I lost that battle.

Blogging moves on

(I heard that somewhere)

and I have some other stories I want to tell

but can't until I end this one.

(The Grow Your Blog doesn't count. 

Vicki's *vicki-2bagsfull.blogspot.com* my friend),
and, oh, a couple of others.

Those of you that have been blessed to have

a great relationship with your mom know

what I'm feeling.

After I grew up my mom turned from "mom"

to "friend". 

We had a great relationship.

She was a beautiful woman and her kids were her life.

She passed on October 12, 2012

at the River Point Assisted Living Center

Kerrville, Texas,

after living with The Tank and me at the ranch

for 6 months.

She was my job for ten months.

Some really good, really funny,

and some very sad, 

heart crushing moments.

I would cry out to God at points in her care

because I couldn't stand the pain

of watching her become someone I didn't know.

Oh, God, it was so difficult.

But, it was a huge blessing, too.

I was with her the last months of her life

and that was a blessing.

I was at the care center for two months,

at least eight hours a day, doing what I could to

help my mom.

And then Hospice became involved.

"Why are you here?? 

She's going to be herself again after she gets some rest."

And, I firmly believed it.

Oh, they had seen it before, I knew that,

but this was different. This was my mom

and SHE.WAS.GOING.TO.BE.FINE.

AFTER.SOME.REST.

It's amazing how our brain works

in that kind of situation.

You have to live it to understand.

And, the Hospice workers see

that kind of hope, that kind of desperation,

so many times.

In so many ways.

My mom passed and joined

Jesus on October 12, 2012.

She wouldn't come back even if I begged.

That gives me great comfort.

Mom and Frank, my Tank

South Haven, Michigan,

a celebration of mom's 80th birthday

THE END

Thank you so much
for reading all of the
writings about my sweet mother.

I appreciate you so much,
        .Jan

leave a comment??

THE RANCH AT SUNSET - HEAVEN

When you haven't posted since August and it's November did you know that some people will email you to see if you're alright? Isn't that the sweetest thing?
And, in answer to that question, am I alright, physically - no, mentally - of course.
I'm working as hard and as much as I can on the rehearsal dinner things for my son's upcoming wedding and a wedding thing for Jana, the bride:). It's a chore since I am not okay physically at the moment but it is bringing me much joy as I am back in my studio and it has lost some of it's crack house aura. I'll post about that later.

Today I was going to quickly throw these photos up of the ranch and get back to work on the wedding, BUT, the new uploader of photos for blogger is stupid and it's turning my pictures sideways. (Anyone out there know Mr. Blogspot and could you call him?)

However, in this instance it's going to save me a lot of time because the pictures are already on flickr COMPLETE WITH descriptions so I'm just going to send you over there.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/polkadotbarn/  But, read this next part first for it's important to set the mood...

.............I was driving up the lane about 6:30 p.m. yesterday and I glanced to my left and saw the black cows in the pasture of really green grass with the sun fixin to set. It was so, so pretty.
I sped up to the house, jumped out of my car (okay, I didn't jump), ran (ALRIGHT, I walked) and got my camera, jumped (did I say, "jumped" again??) on the four wheeler and raced (I did "race" - I love driving it fast:) to the front pasture to take pictures. Then I meandered closer to the house to take more pictures and to the barns and down the lane. It was fun.

For protection, the photos are stored in flickr and in this case, you can just hop over there and see them with their descriptions and just pretend that you're still here on my post.
Cool, huh.
Oh, and click on the pictures and they'll get bigger by magic. On some there's explanations and arrows. It's just who I am.

I've missed this.
Blogging.
Hope Mr. Blogspot fixes his uploader soon. It's very frustrating and kinda ticked me off for a minute or ten.

I hope y'all have a delightful evening and.........................
if you're reading this on Tuesday......................................

DON'T FORGET TO VOTE REPUBLICAN! (did I say, "REPUBLICAN"??)

LOVE YOU!! JAN

http://www.flickr.com/photos/polkadotbarn/

BLOG WINNER A-A-A-N-N-N-N-D DON'T FORGET TO LOOK UP!

May's blog giveaway was this precious stamp set below - oh, how I love it!

I did the drawing last night with the help of my best friend, Annette (she picked the number - always helping; that's just who she is), and the *excited* winner was CAROL O'CONNELL of Vintage Crafter! Yea for Carol!! And, she's from Canada which I think is so cool (well, until I get to the post office) - I'm making friends all over the world with my giveaways and that's the most wonderful thing! (I wonder how far away my farthest away reader lives???)

Oh, and don't forget that I have decided to have a giveaway EVERY MONTH!

Big WOO HOO!!

.....And, now the second part of this post............a fascinating story follows. LOL

Frank the Tank has been out of town this week so I've been in charge of watering his babies......his tomato plants (oh, please). So, I'm standing there watering them, probably not the right way, the gentle way...........I simply laid the hose in the container and let it fill with water and then moved to the next container. (DON'T TELL!) Anyway, I'm standing there just thinkin' about important stuff...you know, stuff like 'do these tomato plants make my butt look big?'...'what excuse can I think of to get out of making dinner? "oh, darn, Tank, I was with the tomatoes so long that I didn't have time to cook! *shrugging shoulders pitifully* I guess we'll have to order in" '...'this chore is great for fluffing'...and, pondering such serious dilemmas as erectile dysfunction.

Okay, I'm just kidding. (Well, not about how I watered them...) What I really noticed was the view towards the highway and how green the plowed and planted front field was and how gorgeous the hills across the highway are and how blessed I am to have that view. And, as I was thinking these things I thought about all of the things of beauty we miss because we don't look up! Like the hills across the highway - not something I see very often because I don't look up.

So, I went inside and grabbed my camera so I could share with you some of the beauty that is all around me. Now, you may not think my "views" are beautiful because we all define beauty in our own way. But, my views are awesome to me - they're bits of life that make me smile (fyi - glitter is a bit of life, too:) and a LOT of them make me smile because they make me think of God and how He is the one that has given us all the beauty that is around us!

I took the picture of the oh, so revered tomato plants, the view towards the highway and now I'm going to show you the view to the left of where I was watering the revered ones - you're looking at the barn area. When I look that direction I am flooded with memories of the boys when they were growing up!

And, so, these are the round bales from one of our hay fields. They'll feed the cattle during this drought and through the winter. The boys and their friends used to climb up on them (the hay bales, not the cows) and play 'keep away' while running down the rows and jumping from row to row! They also make a great background for target practice (so they say).

A close up of some of the barns (you're missing the hay barn - hey, hay barns are important AND they're honkin') and the pens. Oh, my gosh, talk about God's beauty! A lot of the beauty is in the memories of the parties we've had down at the barn - behind the small barn that eventually became my first studio. And also, looking at this area is a reminder that the barn was built in 1890 and that the ranch has been a working ranch owned by the Thomason's since 1890. Wow - now that's vintage and I LOVE vintage!

Oh, this is so cool! I see this beauty every time I take the curve coming up our lane - the wicker settee, fence gate and yard chandelier hanging in the ancient pecan tree. I love this little bit of "me" that you see as you're approaching the house and after you've seen the beauty of the pink bicycles lined up along the fence at our entrance...

See? The yard chandelier! Doesn't it make you smile?

Beauty.

Oops! I need another yard chandelier!

This little sitting area is just outside the fence that runs around our yard. It's crazy *meaning more pink on a ranch*, but it's so me:)
As I was walking around the front yard to get this one last picture for you I passed the front door....my lovely front door that no one ever sees because everyone that comes to our house uses my studio door (go figure). I think my front door is beautiful and I was so glad I looked up and saw it as I walked by!

Ahhh, my favorite place in our yard....the swing. I love to sit in it and gently rock back and forth as I look out at my favorite view.

I always look up and see this view! It's my special place where I can be calmed when agitated, blessed when I am troubled, cooled down after a long bike ride, and simply at peace while I am gently rocking back and forth.

You know what? There is beauty all around us; we simply need to look up from our busy-ness and see it! Even a parking lot is a thing of beauty to me if I find a rusty smished bottle cap! Texture, color, faded color, vintage buildings, children, all of God's people, and let me not forget the horizon - what do you see when you look towards the horizon?

I simply adore all of you, my readers. There's such beauty in your comments.

xoxo,

. . .Jan

AROUND THE RANCH...I JUST WANT TO SHOW YOU A FEW THINGS....

Before I start the short ranch tour, I really want to share with you an exciting new blog that a friend of mine has opened. It's called Pam Warden Art and my friend, Pam, is such a talented artist I would love for you to take a minute and check out her blog! She already has a give-a-way set up - just comment on her post to sign up. And while you're there, check out her precious art! This is the first commercial I've ever done on my blog so go on, go check it out - you'll see that I have great discernment!

The second thing I'm going to tell you before we go on the wee ranch tour is this:
I went to Santa Fe this weekend with my sorority sisters. Everything is stucco.
Everything is brown.
I thought I would lose my mind.
For some reason that just drove me crazy.
I did buy some amazing beads for the grunge necklaces I'm going to be making and that was fun but other than that, give me San Antonio any day. LOL

Okay, so we start the wee ranch tour and of course, all of the pictures are out of order. I still don't get it - how to load them in order - so just pretend that you're at the ranch and not seeing it for the first time....in pictures. First picture...................

hmmmm, I pushed a button and lost the picture of Clay playing B-ball. If you think I'm going to look for it or reload it, you're wrong. Very, very wrong. Use your imagination:)

Clay spends most of his time on our basketball court. I'm not kidding - he lives it - always has. And he's good. Really good. I'm so glad we put the 1/2 court in several years ago - a great investment as most of the kids end up at the Thomason's because of the court, the pasture and the swimming pool.
I've always loved knowing where my boys are!
You know, I feel badly, I really should know this precious baby's name but I don't.
This sweet baby has been hand fed since she was a wee babe and now she thinks that Frank the Tank is her mother.
Isn't that cute? We have some smaller barns, but this is the big barn.
It's really cool because it's been here since the late 1800's and it's just, well, cool.
Love to go into it. And when the kids were small, they loved to go up into the hay loft.
Frank the Tank and his brother, John, used to have to milk the cows when they were kids. To hear John tell it, it was more like corporal punishment.
Oh, my door wall along one of the pipe fences that runs along the pasture behind my old studio - you remember. The pink barn, two rains that flooded it in the spring of '07. Not a good thing for a paper artist! Anyway, I'm now cozy and all set up at the house in the breezeway. It's my own room - it's just a bit smaller! Anyway, this door wall stays put. I like it.
What you're seeing here (above) is the pool house to the far left and the ranch house as you drive up the lane. You don't really get any definition of the front of the house but that's for the best. The yard man is me and I'm not able to do yard work right now.
That's why my theme for our yard this year is "browns" - everything is in browns. (Get it???)
The barns as you drive up the lane. The pink one is the one in front.
Just kills the guys:)
The gate to the right of the entrance to the ranch. Do you love my pink bicycles?
The fence to the left of the entrance - more pink bicycles (you can't see one:).
Love it.

Oh, yeah, this is great.
Frank the Tank really wanted to build (do you build gardens??) a garden this year. So he took my now plagued chicken exercise yard and made it into his garden. One morning he came into the bedroom carrying one of his prize squash (no) and showed it to me and asked me, "Jan, did you know that squash is a fruit?"

"Why, no Frank, I didn't. You wanna tell me where you learned that??"

"I Googled it."

"You Googled it???" Crack me up! After I stopped giggling I asked him to please not google his okra. He's so funny!
Pretty cardinal in the tree next to the feeder.
An old metal gate leaning up against the house. It has *light blue* dryer lint in the 'brown' leaves for the birds to use to build their nests.
Old gate into the pasture behind our house.
Frank the Tank's tractor that I CAN DRIVE. Oh, yeah. I can drive this baby.

These next three pictures are of some of our hummers. The feeder hangs outside my bedroom window and I can watch these precious babies all day long if I want to! They're so sweet and it's looking like it's time to buy a second feeder! Isn't that great???

Thank you for joining me on this rather long post - but I wanted to give you a taste of what the ranch was like though we just touched on it! It's supposed to be just enough of a tease so that you, my friends (no stalkers)will decide that you just must visit the ranch so we can have some FUN!! woohoo!

xoxo,