IT COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE

It could.

Always be worse.

But every so often I have a 'moment'.

A moment where I sob.

I don't get mad at God.

I just feel sorry for myself.

But, only for a moment and then I move on!

I am so blessed.

No matter what physical challenges I face,

I. AM. SO. BLESSED.

And, this week has been challenging.

Let's start with January 13th - right knee replacement.

Because of Rheumatoid Arthritis.

As you age, RA changes.

It becomes degenerative in a horrid way.

On March 21st I had outpatient surgery

to clean up the area around my torn meniscus in my left knee.

RA again.

If you don't know, I've been going to a podiatrist, 

two different ones actually, for about 8 or 9 years

because I snapped the inside tendons on the inside of both feet.

I finally came to my senses after so, so many years of

the wrong treatments prescribed by my podiatrist(s).

I've come to the conclusion, and this is just my thought,

that podiatrists should only be allowed to work on the toe nails

of prisoners on death row. 

Just sayin'.

And, to save you from having to listen to me go on and on,

which I have no desire to do,

let me simply tell you that I made an appointment with

one of the top foot and ankle orthopedic surgeons in Texas.

I met with him this past Tuesday.

After Dr. Castillas looked at the x-rays, MRI and Cat Scan

of my left foot and ankle 

(it's in the biggest mess - right foot and ankle will be next)

A treatment decision was made.

I have surgery this Monday.

It was urgent to have the surgery as soon as possible. 

And, without going into all of the details,

Dr. C. said I would have lost my foot if things continued

the way they were..

Amputation.

So, surgery on my left foot and ankle is this Monday - one more day.

It's a major surgery says Dr. C., but one he's performed regularly.

The recuperation time??

This is the best part, of course!

EIGHT WEEKS - MY FOOT CANNOT TOUCH 

THE GROUND FOR EIGHT WEEKS.

 I have a trip I've very much looked forward to

with my sorority sisters that is not going to happen for me.

(hoping I can get my airline ticket $$ back)

I have wedding invitations to my son, Blake's, wedding to finish 

and get mailed. And, I have a honkin' reception hall to decorate.

The wedding is July 25th.

Oh, and then I leave for an art retreat (still a couple of seats open:)

in the South of France and then to Germany to see my

"little girl" and her family.

Let's get it done!! Time's wasting and I have things to do!

Please pray for the surgery and for the resulting pain and my recovery.

I do need those prayers.

And, if you want to come and visit I've got some fun

things to make for the wedding reception AND

a great art studio for playing!

 P.S. What would I do without my family? My boys and girls and little girls are great support. 

But, my sister, Joan, is my biggest support. 

 She is my heart.

 And, I couldn't get through this upcoming procedure or any in the past, without the Tank.

He takes amazing care of me.

 My cousin, Melinda, is so caring and loving. She is my rock.

I want to end with thanking you for putting up with me.

You read my sporadic blog posts.

Some of you lurk and some leave comments on Facebook

instead of my post, but you read me and I think you "get" me.

And, I love all of you dearly - lurkers, too. *wink*

Blessings.

THE END

Mom as a child. She's holding onto the

necklace around her neck.

As I begin to pen this chapter of my mom's life, 

I haven't even looked back to see where I had left off

in the telling of her story.

I've put off writing this last part of her story for months.

For a bit I didn't feel comfortable talking about it.

It was too fresh, too new, and too hard for me to wrap

myself around to write this last chapter.

Then I spent literally months trying to come up

with the right title for this post. 

It had to be the perfect title.

As you can see, I lost that battle.

Blogging moves on

(I heard that somewhere)

and I have some other stories I want to tell

but can't until I end this one.

(The Grow Your Blog doesn't count. 

Vicki's *vicki-2bagsfull.blogspot.com* my friend),
and, oh, a couple of others.

Those of you that have been blessed to have

a great relationship with your mom know

what I'm feeling.

After I grew up my mom turned from "mom"

to "friend". 

We had a great relationship.

She was a beautiful woman and her kids were her life.

She passed on October 12, 2012

at the River Point Assisted Living Center

Kerrville, Texas,

after living with The Tank and me at the ranch

for 6 months.

She was my job for ten months.

Some really good, really funny,

and some very sad, 

heart crushing moments.

I would cry out to God at points in her care

because I couldn't stand the pain

of watching her become someone I didn't know.

Oh, God, it was so difficult.

But, it was a huge blessing, too.

I was with her the last months of her life

and that was a blessing.

I was at the care center for two months,

at least eight hours a day, doing what I could to

help my mom.

And then Hospice became involved.

"Why are you here?? 

She's going to be herself again after she gets some rest."

And, I firmly believed it.

Oh, they had seen it before, I knew that,

but this was different. This was my mom

and SHE.WAS.GOING.TO.BE.FINE.

AFTER.SOME.REST.

It's amazing how our brain works

in that kind of situation.

You have to live it to understand.

And, the Hospice workers see

that kind of hope, that kind of desperation,

so many times.

In so many ways.

My mom passed and joined

Jesus on October 12, 2012.

She wouldn't come back even if I begged.

That gives me great comfort.

Mom and Frank, my Tank

South Haven, Michigan,

a celebration of mom's 80th birthday

THE END

Thank you so much
for reading all of the
writings about my sweet mother.

I appreciate you so much,
        .Jan

leave a comment??

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY

Profound, huh. My title.
I have spent so many hours trying to think of a name for this post that those hours have turned into days which have turned into weeks. And, I apologize for my tardiness though in some respects I have welcomed the time afforded to me that I did not have to pen this post.

I know that if you're reading this post that you've most likely been reading the others about my mom's dementia, moving to the ranch last January, 24/7 caregiver, moving on to memory care, being with her 8 hours every day.

And then October 2012 rolls in.
What's odd is that I haven't posted since May 2012.
Not really odd because taking care of mom got harder and harder every week as she declined further and further. That left little time for anything else.

But, back to October.
That's when I should have written to you.
That's when my sweet mother passed.
October 12, 2012.
I was there with her, sitting at the head of her bed, when she died.
That day and the day before continue to be very surreal to me.

She was progressing steadily in her dementia decline and then the end of September, she started failing much faster. Then she was dying and after about 1 1/2 days, she was gone.
Not lost.
Just gone.
She has gone on to heaven. I'll be with her again. We'll be able to continue the fun we had here on earth with some differences.
Jesus. God.

That's what I hold on to. Because I don't think anyone ever gets through the death of someone they love as dearly as I love my mom.

One day at a time. One breakdown at a time. One prayer at a time.

God bless all of you, especially my lurkers,
Jan

TINA RECEIVES HER TAG "GATE"!!

Did y'all think I was ever going to get my trip to Wichita Falls posted? I declare, I always have the best intentions, but it seems like the days just fly by and before I know it, it's bedtime and another day has passed and I've left y'all in the dark about the delivery of the tag "gate" to Tina!
I simply could not let you continue to wonder how it went so I am writing this on the Tank's and my trip to the coast before my surgery this Wednesday. How about that - a working vacation. We're here for four days and will be leaving tomorrow after we visit an elderly couple that moved here to be closer to their daughter - they were members of our church and we just love Rena and Ray.
Then we'll take our "daughter", Skyler, out to lunch before we head home.

So, okay, let's get to the reason for this post!
I do tend to give entirely too much information! . . .
Below is a picture of my baby - my convertible, the trunk ready to be loaded with all I was taking to Wichita Falls to see Tina and her husband, Will.
The plan was for me to make the 6 1/2 hour drive last Monday, present the gate, get hugs, talk until we could talk no more, eat supper and then I would stay the night in a local hotel as they don't have a guest room (the second bedroom is her studio - I can't think of a better use for a second bedroom, can you??) And then Tina and I would meet for breakfast the next morning before I headed home. I had planned on the trip being a short one as I didn't want to wear her out and my plans worked out perfectly!

The trunk is packed with the tag "gate", my overnight bags and special little gifts from some of the precious tag makers. Oh, and cookies. Before I left the area, I stopped in Kerrville at the Cookie Chick's to pick up a special order I had placed for a half dozen HUGE oatmeal pecan raisin cookies and monster cookies as a special treat for Tina and Will. The Cookie Chick makes the most amazing cookies, they're honkin', AND she ships if you don't live in the area. They are the most delicious cookies and make such a special gift, don't you think? Check out the size of these cookies! They are 1/4# apiece! WOW!!
I made it to Wichita Falls about 3:30 p.m., stopped on the side of the road as I entered town and had a nice chat with a police officer about how fast my car can go *yeah* and after a delightful talk with Officer Piper I drove up at Tina's where she was waiting for me in the driveway!
.

This is a picture of Rat Dog and Tina with the gate after she had studied every tag on it! She was in awe and completely overwhelmed by every one's generosity that made a tag for the "gate". You made her smile! REALLY big!!
She was blown away - no kidding. I want all of you to know that the time and effort you put into making a tag for her meant the world - and those of you that don't even know Tina, that might not even know me, those of you that made a tag because you do know me and those that made one because you know Tina - what a wonderful group of ladies.
The mixed media art community is an amazing group of women and you touched this woman (and Tina;) deeply by your kindness.

Our time together was delightful - she looked great, amazing!, felt pretty stinkin' good, too, considering she's undergoing chemo' and has Stage 4 colon cancer with a spot on her liver. . . .I give you these personal details so that you will know the severity of her cancer and if you are a believer, you will PRAY. That's what she's has asked for, what she longs for - that as many people as possible will be praying for her as she fights this battle. She would love to be added to your church's prayer list, your prayer list, your friend's prayer lists, ask prayer warriors that you know to pray for her. .. She is a strong believer and is counting on the prayer of believers to get her through this!

I thought you would enjoy seeing some pictures of us as we spent that special time together.
So, here we are. . .

Tina has changed her diet and is trying to eat healthy as much as she is able to so for dinner she prepared steamed veggies - broccoli, zucchini, squash, red peppers, onion, corn, fresh green beans, all steamed and absolutely delicious! And, feeling as good as she did, she insisted on doing all of the work while I entertained her by watching.

This picture below is a pic of Will, Tina's very silly husband! He is a hoot, entirely too much like me, and we adore each other. Well, I adore him. Surely he adores me? LOL

He is what Tina refers to as the Food Police as he watches closely what she consumes. He has researched her cancer, treatments, the chemo she is on, homeopathic medicine, everything he can get his hands on that he thinks will help his sweet wife beat this! He is an amazing husband and you can see how much he cares for Tina just by watching him with her.

Me??? Me, he teases. He's simply horrid.

He grilled pork chops for dinner and they were melt in your mouth delicious!

We had a delightful supper full of talk, teasing and a lot of laughter. It was wonderful fun and we all thoroughly enjoyed the meal and each other.

This pic below is of my dinner plate - see how yummy everything looks? And don't you just love the dinnerware?

I left Tuesday morning for home. I left a lot later than planned because Tina and I couldn't stop talking at breakfast! It was hard to leave her, but I know she's in good hands with Will and I keep up with her constantly through prayer, emails, fb and cards.

.

Even though I got off late, I HAD to stop in Mineral Wells on the way home because I had spotted this antique/junk shop that needed my attention when I drove up to Tina's.

.

Here are some overpriced dressers in front of the store.

Inside the junk shop it went on FOREVER. I was there for like an hour as it was and decided I will simply have to go back the next time I drive to Wichita Falls to see my new friend, Mr. Policeman.

I did manage to spend almost $40.00 on pearls, vintage Christmas, dominoes and some other things I can't remember now. *that cracks me up*

So, I leave and drive to the Dairy Queen to use the restroom before heading on and when I get back into my car *after being face to face with several of the DQ patrons* I notice that I have a vintage Christmas ornament from the junk store stuck to my hat!

It's too bad that I was alone because I laughed so hard I thought I'd pee. What a hoot! I SHOPLIFTED!! Oh, my gosh!! I'm 56 - I've never shoplifted in my life until last Tuesday!

Y'all have been so sweet to listen to me ramble on and on.

I just had to share the entire experience (okay, I forgot to take Mr. Policeman's picture, but I got most everything else:) with you so you'd feel like you were there. Most of you reading this were such a huge part of this post that I really wanted you to feel like you were by our side as we spent that time together.

And, to my other loyal, dear readers, thank you for always supporting my blog posts.

.

This Wednesday I will be having surgery that will keep me off of my feet for 14 days so I'll have lots of time to post. I can catch up (I have posts that go back to July that need to be blogged! and I want to start *late* my "30 Days of Blessings" for November). So, know that I'll be on the computer filling everyone in............finally!

Have a fabulous week and know that someone loves you,

.

XOXO, Jan

IT'S A GOOD THING THAT TEAM TINA'S FIERCE BECAUSE I'M SLOWER THAN MOLASSES!

I don't know why I picked that title - I sat here for a few minutes trying to decide what to call this and "Tina's Tag Gate" just wasn't workin' for me.
But, it should have been because that's what this post is all about!
I'm going to share with you the pictures that I took that show the making and putting together of the victorian window that I got to put Tina's tags on. Now, you must understand that I am the worst of the worst when it comes to taking pictures of works in progress or events - I'm simply horrible. So, you don't get to see the window as it looked when I bought it, you don't get to see me breaking out all of the glass and not cutting myself, not even once, you don't get to see me trying to use a staple gun (did you know that it takes a strong hand to get those buggers to go into the wood and that your aim has to be really good to get your piece of wire between the two sharp points of the staple? ha!) because I forgot to take pictures, so I did the next best thing....the following pictures are self explanatory so I'll not bore you with sub-titles. What I'll do instead is let you look at the pictures while I work on the pics I took at Tina's this week when I hand delivered the gate. Good plan???

For your viewing enjoyment........................

This is Taylor, my pale pink ribbon cutting and pushing through the holes of the tags that needed length to tie on to the fencing helper. Thanks, Taylor!

"TA-DA-A-A-A-A-A!!!!"

Thank you, each of you wonderful artists, all of you members of Team Tina, that made this present for such a dear, sweet fellow mixed media artist, possible. I cannot wait to get it to her! .......Just give me some time to get all of the pics I took of the trip to Tina's fixed up and I'll get that trip posted. I'm old, I'm slow, but I eventually come through!

XOXO, Jan

A POST FROM TINA, HERSELF!

Hi, y'all! I'm excited to pass on to you the fact that Tina felt good enough to post on her blog! I thought you might enjoy reading it, so, settle into your couch and head over to her blog and get the word straight from Tina!

I will continue to keep you posted whenever I have new information (about Tina and our secret Team Tina project *prior post for those not in the know that want to join in the fun*!:).

I hope you each have a fabulous day! Kudos to my faithful readers, lurkers AND COMMENTERS!

XOXO, Jan

AN UPDATE ON TINA

Hey, everyone. This is going to be quick and there's not going to be any pictures to make it pretty, but, it's an important post about dear, sweet Tina.

If you're reading this and wondering what the heck I'm talking about, then scroll down to the post below this one and catch yourself up!

Okay, all of you precious Team Tina members, I have an update for you on Tina.
I haven't posted an update before now because there was a question as to how much information the family wanted made public...............Tina has colon cancer, has had surgery and one planned in the near future, will start chemo soon, is being taken care by an amazing oncologist in Dallas that she loves, and is determined to fight the fight with the help of God.
You know she has a very strong faith and I know that it is only with God that she will be able to get through the next days and the next days and the next days.

Her cancer is very serious and she needs all of the prayers you can muster up for her. Put her on your church prayer list, tell your friends that are prayer warriors, and you pray for her daily.

I still feel my world rocking every single day since I found out about her cancer. She is an amazing person and an incredible artist; someone I love dearly.

I'm in Michigan and will return home in a little over a week - I know there's going to be a ton of tags waiting for me to attach to the tag gate for Tina! I'm so excited about that - and if you haven't sent a tag yet and want to - please do!! The more tags, the more love shown and I know she is going to be SO SO blessed by your effort and time.

Thank you, y'all. You're wonderful.

(If you are a member of FaceBook, you can get updates on Tina (Tina Wright) there. Her husband, Will, is using FB to keep people updated on Tina's condition. I encourage you to check it out and to leave an encouraging note.

XOXO, Jan

A DEAR FRIEND, AN ARTIST, A BLOGGER, NEEDS OUR SUPPORT!

Hi, sweet friends! I'm so glad you're taking the time to read this post as it's vitally important. I don't know of any other group that is more supportive of those of us that are living through the hardest times of our life. Artist bloggers are such giving and caring people.
So, I'm glad to see that you're running to this post *the flamingos - running - get it?* to help one of ours who is in need of our support!
Tina Wright, child of God, wife, mother, grandmommy, artist, co-creator of the Paper Cowgirl Art Retreat, Texan and friend, has this week, been diagnosed with colon cancer.
I don't know how much information the family wants made public so will simply say that Tina needs us! She is in a place where an outpouring of love from her blogger friends, retreat friends, students and fellow artists will help lift her spirits and boost her strength!(If you don't know Tina, but still want to help with Team Tina, you are more than welcome to join in! You are so appreciated!)

Tina is caring, giving, always patient and kind, loves her family and friends and simply adores her grandkids! She is an incredible artist, specializes in soldering and soldered jewelry. She's a wonder, that's for sure, I am so blessed to call her a dear friend.

I would like for all of us to make a piece of art, a tag, and I will put all of it together for her.

I want to make her a "tag gate" and I need YOU to do it!
A tag gate is an old metal gate, or facsimile, that I will fill with tags that have been made for her using decorated clothes pins and/or ribbons to attach them - this is something that she can prop on a dresser, hang on her wall, etc. It will be approximately 2 feet square or 2' x 3', so we need lots of tags to fill it!!

If you want to be a part of the Team Tina project, make a tag, any size, any design, with your name and email address on the back and send it to me NO LATER THAN OCTOBER 2ND.

Jan Thomason
Team Tina
5720 Hwy. 27
Center Point, Texas 78010

Thanks for your support and your willingness to bring joy into the life of Tina, one amazing woman!

And, if you're a believer, and if you are, then this part is going to be the "duh" part of the post, would you please pray for Tina and Will, for their family, Tina's medical team and her friends. Get her on your church's prayer list, get her name to your friends and church members that are prayer warriors. Thank you!!

Thanks everyone! I'll post all of the tags here after the 2nd and also show you the finished project. You're a blessing and so appreciated!

XOXO, Jan

WHAT CANCER CAN'T DO - A VERY SPECIAL CARD

It saddens me.

The number of friends that have recently told me that they or a family member have cancer.

The number of friends that have been living with cancer.

The number of friends that are sick from the poisons that are pumped into their body in an effort to kill their cancer.

The number of friends struggling with the loss of hair, energy and appetite.

The number of friends struggling with their faith.

That's why this card is so important.

Please read what it says.
(It's typed below the photograph of the card - easier to read)
And please remember that all of my work is copyrighted.

IT SAYS:

WHAT CANCER CAN'T DO

It cannot cripple love

It cannot shatter hope

It cannot erode faith

It cannot eat away peace

It cannot destroy confidence

It cannot kill friendship

It cannot shut out memories

It cannot silence courage

It cannot invade the soul

It cannot reduce eternal life

It cannot quench the spirit

It cannot lessen the power of the resurrection

The butterfly is free-standing and is attached to the card at it's center so that the wings can stand up.
The photo of this card totally does not relate the beauty of the card - it is gorgeous in it's presentation and loving in it's written words.

You can see this card and others in different colors and patterns in my Etsy shop and Lollishop.

I love each and every one of you,